A brain surgeon I am not

2012-09-05 10:13

Ok, I’m not as thick as my coke mule sister, but genius material I am not. If I were one of the sharper knives in the drawer I’d be a politician or a 419 scammer.

That way I’d be skimming enough cash not to have to force myself to write with the flu when all I want to do is throw a handful of meds down my neck and crawl into my pit.

My mate Ghengiz, the apostate’s apostate and a bit of a would-be Christopher Hitchens after he’s guzzled his first case of beer, believes it’s because I dropped outta tertiary to do more important things like earn money to buy narcotics and alcohol and cause trouble, thus robbing myself of intellectual capacity.

There are other reasons, though.

Apart from bad genes and other disadvantages related to my ancestry, according to a survey I read last week, it may be because I smoked several metric tonnes of high grade Durban herb before I got to matric.

The survey, conducted in New Zealand (I wonder how many of the participants are chicken runners from Mzansi?) found that those who skinned up at least four times a week before the age of 18 suffered an average IQ loss of eight points.

Now I’m not sure what an IQ point is really worth, but given the fact that I spent way more time in the merchant’s room at the back of the church across the road from Durban High School than in class, mine must be around, let’s see, five billion.

That must be why I fail to understand the sudden public about-face around the release of the Marikana strikers.

For two weeks most right-minded South Africans (and even relatively dodgy punters like myself and Ghengiz) have been adding our voices to the cries of outrage over the treatment of the miners arrested after their colleagues were slaughtered by the Forces of Evil and Reaction.

Not only were the survivors denied their constitutional rights in terms of the law, but we’re told that they also had the s**t kicked outta them because they had the guts to give statements to the Independent Police Investigative Directorate (IPID).

Even that wasn’t enough for the Babylon: they then charged the strikers with murdering their comrades and denied them medical assistance.

Literally every South African with a conscience wanted the NPA halted in its tracks and the miners released and the murder charges dropped.

So when the NPA finally did the right thing and dropped the bull***t charges and started granting bail, I was stupid enough to expect at least some positive reaction.

Instead, there’s been this outcry that the independence of the NPA has been violated because its leaders listened to reason after 15 days of acting like it is still 1986.

Even a dummy like me knows the NPA has never been free from political interference.

We’ve even changed presidents because of fingers in the legal till. It’s wrong.

But in this case I believe Justice Minister Jeff Radebe was right to demand a review from NPA acting head Nomgcobo Jiba.

If he hadn’t, the abuse of the miners’ rights would be continuing.

Or maybe I’m just plain stupid.

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