Blame waya waya

2009-08-22 10:20

There are

consequences if you have sex without protection

WHETHER you call it kota or ­bunny chow, almost everyone loves it

ekasi. Addicts like myself are always on the lookout for the spot with the

freshest and juiciest chunk of this township speciality.

My favourite is Palesa’s Kota in Phiri, Soweto.
Located on a busy street corner, Palesa’s yellow container attracts

all kinds of people, and no one leaves disappointed.

Her “woza-woza” has also led to the container becoming the place to

be if you want to catch up on the latest neighbourhood ­gossip.

So last week I found myself in another long queue of kota lovers

patiently waiting for their orders. We were all minding our business when Drama

King walked in.

He asked Palesa to prepare him the largest kota on the menu as he

hadn’t eaten for the past two days. “Women trouble,” he explained.

Palesa seemed genuinely concerned or maybe just curious like the

rest of us who wanted to know about the ­troubles that could cause a man to

starve himself.

With all eyes on him, Drama King told us about his sudden ­hatred

for women and how he ­never wanted to share his bed with them.

Pacing up and down the small container, he explained how in a

moment of madness, he accidentally slept with his girlfriend’s best friend. To

point out the seriousness of this matter, he explained that the girlfriend was

­also the mother of his two kids.

So the three of them had gone out drinking one night and his

girlfriend had passed out.

The best friend suggested that she spend the night with him to keep

him company. He obliged.

They then sweated in the next room and promised to keep it a

­secret. But now the dilemma – leading to the subsequent loss of appetite – was

that best friend had fallen pregnant and ­Drama King was certain that she had

done this to spite him. At that point I was rolling up my eyes and wondering

what drug this guy was on. He had to be smoking something if he was now blaming

this woman for a consensual hanky-panky they had in the presence of his

unconscious ­girlfriend.

I then interrupted him by asking what seemed like an obvious

question: “Why didn’t you use ­protection?”

There was a brief silence in the container as he stood there

feeling exposed. An old woman came to his defence.

She reckoned that young women were in the business of making money

by intentionally falling pregnant. According to her, we ­deliberately avoid

­using protection once we’ve identified a ­vulnerable man we can exploit for


Palesa agreed with her, saying there were many women ekasi who

didn’t bother looking for jobs because making babies was much easier.

The “poor men” pay monthly child maintenance and the government

throws in a bonus, so why should these women bother with paying taxes and taking

on responsibility, asked Palesa.

Excuse my ignorance, but I have always believed that sex was an act

by two people who should both take responsibility for whatever happens after the

sweat has dried.

Nowhere does it say it is a woman’s duty to make sure that

protection is there when needed. If you both “forget” about it, then be ­mature

enough to deal with the ­consequences – whether baby or HIV/Aids.

But for old women to defend men who run away from their

responsibilities is just mind-boggling. The young boys who witnessed this

conversation might think it’s okay to make babies and dump them because their

mothers will protect them.

If this is the kind of sexual education taught in our homes, then

it’s no surprise that HIV/Aids statistics are still on the rise and we have kids

running around who don’t know their fathers.

But I say big-ups to how best friend taught Drama King a

lesson.When he denied that the baby was his or that he had ever slept with her,

she went to his girlfriend and produced a recording of the act.

Apparently best friend’s phone has more uses that just making and

receiving calls, and lucky for her it has also made sure that her unborn baby

has a father.

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