Bluff your man into making his poker win for you

2009-10-23 12:15

SO, has the man in your life taken up the dreaded game of poker. To many women this spells widowhood, lonely evenings and weekends without him; while he bluffs and goes all-out on the felt or online.

To make it worse, you are subjected to detailed dissections of his game when he returns.

He spends his free time honing his skills, reading poker magazines and watching the game on TV.

Many women have lost their men to this innocuous card game, but it need not sound the death knell of your relationship. Here are ten advantages to being a poker widow:

Pampering. Poker tournaments take place at luxury resorts with adjoining health spas. No doubt a service offered out of sympathy for the battalions of poker widows.

Seize the opportunity and entice your man to play there. Your facial and beauty treatments can now take place at flashy hotels.

A lifetime of simple gift ideas. Books, dogs playing poker pictures, DVDs, cards, even ashtrays and a plethora of poker paraphernalia will make gift-buying a cinch.

Poker guilt. Make him feel guilty of the time he spends at the felt instead of with you. Insist on a dinner at the restaurant of your choice and ban any talk that details how he played in his last game.

Girl’s day out. Suddenly you are presented with hours of shopping, lunch, movies, sun-tanning or anything else that tickles your fancy. If he insists on serenading you with how his game went, give him a shop-by-shop account of your day.

Take up the game. Anyone can play poker and women have proved to be as good as men, and often better. You get quality time with your mate, and even better is infuriating him when you chase down that nut flush draw and beat him at his own game.

Stunning holidays.Encourage your guy to play better and soon he may be jetting off to exotic foreign poker tournaments.

Global tournaments are hosted in Monte Carlo, Venice, Cyprus amongst others.

Plant the seed that he should be playing in one of these tournaments because he’s that good, and chances are he’ll be whipping out the fantastic plastic before you can say Schengen.

Capital gains. If your man is good and practises hard enough, he can make a decent amount of cash from poker.

For example, every player on the 2009 World Series of Poker final table will pocket a minimum of R7 million, and the overall winner more than R56 million. This year, South Africa’s Warren Zackey came 22nd and walked away with just under R3 million.

Right back at you. Next time he scoffs incredulously at the price tag of your new Jimmy Choo shoes, mention that he has “invested” an equally large amount in his latest losing streak, possibly equal to the GDP of a small African nation.

It’s glamorous. You could soon be hobnobbing with superstars in Vegas or here at home with local poker celebs Danny K and Neil Andrews. Casinos are well known for spoiling players with comps of ­upgrades to luxury penthouses, free meals, limo rides and more.

It could be worse. Imagine a weekend spent at the Tarlton Raceway, surrounded by exhaust fumes and mullet hairstyles – utter hell in comparison to being a poker widow. – BLUFF Magazine

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