Cele and Japan: a match made in heaven

2011-07-23 15:47

Music-loving police chief Bheki Cele would feel right at home if he were to become South Africa’s ­ambassador to Japan.

Japan is renowned for its love of karaoke and Cele loves singing. When you go to Japan, the people welcome you by putting your singing ­talents to the test.

Cele is into African music, jazz, liberation songs and a bit of hip-hop. But he’s gonna have to find more ­accessible music, like the 1980s band The Police.

We suggest the general belt out some of their more famous songs, like Driven To Tears, King Of Pain and Murder By Numbers.

He could also dedicate the following Police songs to President Jacob Zuma: Wrapped Around Your ­Finger and When The World Is Running Down, You Make The Best Of What Is Still Around.

And then there is the seafood. Cele knows how to use chopsticks, and in Japan they sure love their sushi and shark meat.

Cele should also consider trying out the ultimate Japanese delicacy – the puffer fish. But be careful ­General Cele. Puffer fish are highly poisonous and can be deadly in your stomach.

Tips about Japan for Cele:
» They have a great sense of ubuntu (humility).

» It’s safe – not as crime-ridden as South Africa.

» There are vending machines with beer.

» In addition to seafood, rice is the staple food.

» The Japanese are VERY punctual, so you can’t get away with being on so-called African time.

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