Chester Missing: One settler, one cartoon

2013-11-18 10:00

Zapiro is the only guy the ANC hates more than Steve Hofmeyr. In fact, I think they see their list of threats as: 1) The DA; 2) The EFF; 3) Zapiro; and 4) People who don’t pay their TV licences.

I would add the Nkandla report, but that’s not really a threat because the only way the ANC will free that is if someone changes its name to “Nelson”.

Zapiro is my favourite satirical apartheid beneficiary, but I am not on board with this Indian cricket cartoon thing, or at least don’t completely accept it.

A white guy pointing out injustice by using Eastern religious symbols in a cartoon is like fighting crime by hijacking cars. Ironically, Hinduism is the one religion where there are actually holy cows.

Of course, KwaZulu-Natal businessman Vivian Reddy, or as Msholozi calls him, “Gupta lite”, got upset.

But Reddy is the kind of guy who thinks newspapers have Zumaphobia because they print in black and his opinion on satire has about as much credibility as a Kardashian marriage vow: “Until my next sex tape do us part.”

Now Zapiro has competition for free publicity from some anti-ANC school kids in KwaZulu-Natal. Apparently their headmaster said they are “free thinking”?

Kids in a DA constituency, a Model C, previously whites-only school taking the piss out of the ANC? That’s about as revolutionary as a Woolworths MySchool card.

Satire that just confirms the status quo of the audience and/or satirist isn’t satire; it’s propaganda, or as they call it at the SABC, the news. Maybe the kids needed to make a few DA T-shirts too?

If the ANC is “Fakers Biscuits”, then the DA is Ouma rusks. That’s why, when I interviewed the DA leader on an episode of LNN, I called her a tough cookie, i.e. a rusk.

The free speech fascists will say we can say anything. The thought police in the ANC will say we can say nothing. They are both wrong. Satire is like plucking nose hair; it’s better to look at yourself first (says light-brown puppet of a white man).

It turns out that, for the ANC, saying it will “kill for Zuma” is not treason, but putting Zuma on a T-shirt is. That’s why our president is always giggling, because for the ANC only he is allowed to.

Maybe the ANC deployed its sense of humour to Julius Malema, and now it’s been outsourced to EFF? Get with it, comrades, satirical T-shirts are like booing with ink.

Besides, surely the ruling party has bigger concerns? Isn’t its youth league about to be liquidated? No wonder it was talking about nationalising stuff, like alcoholics running a bar.

I noticed that the league needs R15 million and that the bill the taxman has slapped on Malema is R16 million. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

» @chestermissing is a puppet political analyst on Late Nite News with Loyiso Gola on eNCA publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

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