Chester Missing: Rainbow nation: apartheid without the guilt

2013-07-15 10:00

Apparently, white South African families still earn on average six times more than black families. No wonder so many white people love the rainbow nation. It’s apartheid without the guilt.

I suggest white people become like Madiba in this.

No, I don’t mean organise a compromise with a bald guy and wear curtain shirts. I mean, get militant, all of us: white people, black people and puppet people.

Let’s cut the crap. When we took Barack Obama to Robben Island, maybe we should have told him it’s our Guantanamo Bay, but we shut ours down.

Sure, there was ­something cool about the US’ first black president coming back to ­Africa, kind of like Khumbul’ekhaya.

And now I hear that my political superhero, Barack Hussein Obama, is force-feeding ­Muslim Guantanamo Bay inmates during Ramadan. Taking after ­another famous Hussein, are we?

The problem with making imaginary superheroes is that they will let you down. Like when I heard South Africa’s own Gandhis, the Mandelas, have a reality TV show.

It’s like the Kardashians, only with fewer black men. It’s not their fault.

We imagined them to be our shining lights, but it turns out they are just people. Let’s get real. If this is what the Mandelas are doing during a time of crisis, what are the Zumas going to do?

Even Egypt seems to be letting us down on the hero front. It turns out being president there is more of a casual job. Don’t tell Cosatu.

Even the SABC has a more stable management than Egypt. Shame, this is going to make Bra Juju feel like an underachiever.

And the rainbow nation? The rainbow nation is a hope, not a fact.

We need to get militant about making it real, not get upset when people point out that it isn’t.

The way white people can help starts, not with blame, but with honesty. Come to terms with the fact that you benefited from apartheid.

Caucasian comrades often respond to this with: “Why are you bringing up the past again, ­puppet?”

Funny how it’s almost ­always those who benefited from ­apartheid who are the keenest to move beyond it.

Or they tell me they weren’t born yet.

Yes, chommies, just because you didn’t dish the food doesn’t mean you didn’t eat at the buffet.

Ja, I know taxpayers paid for a cattle kraal at Nkandla – it turns out even lobola needs high-end security.

My point is that white people should let Thuli Madonsela worry about Nkandla and rather focus on coming to terms with the fact that often their ability to get on with execs is because of shared “cultural norms” (ie whiteness).

»?Missing is a puppet political analyst on Late Nite News with Loyiso Gola on eNCA

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