Commander in Chief in for rough second term

2014-06-23 11:56

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Friday. It’s mid-morning. I’m off my face. Drugged up. Stoned. Tripping my tits off. Call it what you will, I’m pretty bent.

Normally I’d be pleased. Value for money and all that. I don’t believe any human should be sober 24/7. It’s wrong.

Today I’m not pleased. The drugs are pharmaceutical. A nasty cocktail of antibiotics, cortisone and flu meds washed down with cough syrup. Not my kinda combo. I stopped getting high on legal drugs shortly after I escaped from Durban High School.

I’ll only start again when the Ambrosini Bill makes it through Parliament. Till then, I’m a criminal.

I’m in a weird kind of trance. Pinned to the couch under a soggy blanket. I’ve passed out during every World Cup game I’ve tried to watch since I got sick. All I can remember is that Engerland and Spain are going home. The rest is just a blur.

I change the channel. The Commander in Chief’s on the box. The CiC’s looking pretty poorly himself. Better than when he got back from sick leave though.

I doubt that he feels much better though. Apart from his health issues, the CiC’s had a week of red-overalled hell. The CiC’s former protégé has given him a taste of what the next five years are going to be like.

It can’t be cool. Standing there helplessly as your former pitbull locks its jaws on your crotch and wrenches from side to side the same way it did to the poor bastards you set it on back when Juju’s beret was black.

Savages you the same way it did them, but with the extra viciousness that comes with payback.

EFF leader Julius Malema responds to President Jacob Zuma’s state of the nation address on Wednesday (June 18 2014). Picture: Elmond Jiyane/GCIS

The CiC response is muted. A placid appeal to play the ball and not the man. Please be nice after I threw you out and set the taxman on your ass. Right.

If the first parliamentary week of the CiC’s second term is anything to go by, the big man is in for an extremely rough five years. And that’s only inside the House.

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