Cruising with J9: Driving the daisies

2011-11-01 09:54

Spending time at home with my loved ones always gets me excited. However, as much as they mean to me, big family functions tend to strike a nerve.

Don’t get me wrong. It has nothing to do with seeing the whole jolly lot in one place. My problem is that I am turned into a chauffeur by a magical wave performed gracefully by my mother.

That too isn’t a problem since being behind the steering wheel of any car is one of my favourite past-times.

My darling cousin and her fiance will be tying the knot soon so, while every one is concerned about what they will be wearing, I’m worried about what I will be driving.

I’ve already been told there’s some bickering among my older aunts about driving with me.

“I have to drive with Janine, she’s my godchild,” says one aunt.

“I also have to drive with her,” says her sister and also grandmother of the bride.

Honestly, I don’t mind and I’m always in stitches at the pettiness, but this isn’t about me at all. It’s about the car I’ll be driving.

Even though they haven’t the foggiest idea of the latest cars on the market, they couldn’t care less.

All they know is that it’s a brand-new car and they’ll be seen in it – being chauffeured at that.

I can already hear them at the wedding reception. “Oh, we came with Ninnie. Did you see the beautiful car we arrived in?”

Bless their merry souls. I do love them unconditionally.

But, you see, driving my aunties around is like transporting fragile flowers.

And though they won’t utter a word to me while we’re on our way, I know I’m bound to hear them whisper to each other rather loudly “Sy ry so vinnig” or “Ooh, she’s going 100km/h now”.

My top speed won’t ever exceed 120km/h with the older folk as passengers.

So while I could try and book a sporty car to take it through its paces on some of the most glorious passes in the Cape, I probably have to be considerate and get a minibus for the sake of my family.

I just don’t want to attend car club “hook-ups” or visit my friends with a Caravelle or some bulbous 7-seater parked in the driveway.

Follow me on Twitter: @SpeedQueen

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