Dashiki Dialogues – Dry gin, diarrhoea and a pussycat

2011-08-26 14:27

To get the best stories out of my old friend with a jutting grey beard and a faded beret, you have to wait until he’s proper-juiced on G&T. Then, as his speech grows slurry, pay close attention because he never disappoints.

This past week he dished out yet another vintage fable.

It all began as a demonstration that life always provides exceptions to every rule.

Take London, the English capital, which is supposed to be the acme of all civility. Alas, they’ve just given a real riotous ring to Black August, no longer the exclusive catch tag of hip-hop concerts with black, red and green branding. Anyway, back to the old geezer’s tale.

Unhurriedly sipping his beloved London dry, he says: “Well, cats always bury their poop ... ?hence ­felines are the cleanest pets on four legs.” But it ain’t necessarily so! As the old blues joint goes.

The old timer swears he once witnessed a cat leave a mean streak of dump in its wake as a result of some spectacular case of diarrhoea.

Apparently, what happened was that he was sitting on the porch in Bokonhout when he witnessed one of those rare sightings – the type gin helps you remember.

He says his family cat was ­laying about in the yard. Then, out the sky, an eagle came swooping in with a perilous hunger. It snatched the cat and flew right back into the dog day’s blazing sky.

Then, out of reflex, the pussycat used its sharp nails to cling onto the eagle’s skin for dear life. A stranger to such heights, it must’ve held on too painfully tight for the hunting bird.

For, after an arduous struggle, the eagle failed to make a meal of the furball and returned it to the ground where the cat then released itself.

Now Whiskers, finally back to ground after a near-death experience, tried making her way to the porch. The poor thing issued a shot of slimy squat with every step it made.

Dizzy and visibly drunk with adrenaline, the cat slowly scratched its way to her sleeping basket.

Understandably, toilet etiquette was the last thing on her mind. Since then, she scans the skies before taking to the yard.

As for those Brits of colonial heritage, it will be a while until they bury the racist stench off Mark Duggan’s shooting and the loose bowels of social unrest it left in its wake.

I say let’s see Dashiki Dialogues about wealth redistribution, even in that imperial court.

» I’m on Twitter @Percy_Mabandu

Join the conversation!

24.com encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Inside News24

Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.