Hands off the Presidential Penis, hands off!

2012-07-09 09:58

There’s something particularly disconcerting about the national obsession with President Jacob Zuma’s penis.

Just when the country seemed to be regaining its senses after the madness around Brett Murray’s rather unflattering interpretation of the Commander In Chief’s Weapon of Mass Distraction: bang. Out of nowhere, the brief period of post-Spear sanity and the serious debates around transitions, second or otherwise, textbooks and governance came to a grinding halt with Zapiro’s rendition of the First Citizen as a knob.

Once again, the Big Man’s Little Man was being thrust under the nation’s collective nose, a rather unpleasant experience from where I sit. There are millions of things I’d rather talk, read and think about than the Presidential Penis, especially when, by all accounts, the organ in question or its owner have not been involved in any kind of sexual controversy.

That’s perhaps the most irritating aspect of the continuing assaults on – and the media’s fascination with – Jacob Zuma’s member. Cartoonists are getting bored and running out of material? No problem. Whip out the Presidential Penis and we’re in the game. No political controversy on the go? Let’s have a quick recap on the number of potential presidential wives, check the latest kiddie/engagement/marriage rumour coming out of the pre-Mangaung whisper mill and we’re away.

This ain’t cool. I’m way more concerned about my own organ than the man from Nkandla’s. I strongly believe that those who are so obsessed with Nxamalala’s member should be doing the same. (Thinking about their own organs, that is, before anyone gets the wrong idea and creeps me out any further.)

Even that rush of pleasure from Andy Murray bawling his eyes out as Engerland once again saw their proverbial rear – and “Great’’ Britain was again reminded that they aren’t – was spoiled by the continual outbursts from the self-appointed Protectors of the Presidential Penis on TV, on Facebook and on the newswires.

So, from the bottom of my heart, can you please leave the Presidential Penis in peace?

If you don’t we could end up with Jackson Mthembu on the High Court steps shouting, “Hands off the Presidential Penis, hands off’’.

We don’t want that now, do we?

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