How not to win an election (or why Zeelah’s naar)

2014-02-03 13:14

Monday morning. The Gunners are still top of the log. I’m in showroom condition. I’ve had a calm weekend.

Ghengis and the Horde hit Jozi for The Boss. I stuck around.

I’m listening to Helen Zeelah explaining how her Vegas wedding to Mamphela Ramphele lasted less than a week.

It’s a horrid tale. Something like the story of my own marriage. Although I did make 13 years.

Even if it took me three attempts to get the marriage registered, courtesy of Home Affairs.

Zeelah’s a bit hard to follow. Like Blade Nzimande after lunch. Or Mangosuthu Buthelezi.

At any time. Tough on the ears. Tougher on the brain.

Zeelah’s a little less than emphatic. Or believable. Bluntly put, Zeelah looks like she ate razor blades for breakfast. Washed down with brake fluid.

I don’t blame her. Zeelah’s had to announce that her wedding was over before she’d even finished opening the presents.

Zeelah’s naar. Even the smattering of Gandhi quotes can’t mask her disappointment that Operation Blackface has gone south.

This is a real cockup. This is not the way to win an election. How do you hope to convince the punters you can run the country better than the Commander in Chief when you lose your presidential candidate before the election date is announced?

That’s even dumber than having confidential candidates.

Zeelah’s got her game face on. She’s trying to walk it off. Bite the bullet. Take one for the team.

Play through the pain. The choice of footballing cliche is yours.

Zeelah’s puzzling, though. This is the kinda injury that can get you stretchered off. Game-changer, all right.

Zeelah doesn’t look anywhere near as stupid as Ramphele though. Ramphele’s already had her chance to make her name dog on GuptaTV.

She’s been pretty good at it. Trying to explain how she went from Agang leader to DA confidential candidate to DA presidential candidate and back in five days.

And that she didn’t know she had to be a DA member to be its candidate to take on the Commander in Chief. And she was a lahnee at the World Bank?

Even Juju knows that to be a party’s presidential candidate you have to at least be a member. And he failed woodwork.

Just shows that education don’t make you smart.

Join the conversation! encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Inside News24


Men.24 Model of the Week: Wendy from Cape Town

Find out more about our featured model, Wendy from Cape Town


You won't want to miss...

Who are the highest paid models of 2017?
10 gorgeous plus-sized models who aren't Ashley Graham
WATCH: Pornhub is giving users free access to premium content these holidays
5 top leg exercises for men
Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.