I auditioned for?Big Brother

2014-07-15 06:00

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It was Sdu Gerasch’s third time auditioning for Big Brother Africa. She’s starting to realise that if you’re a woman, it’s about how little you wear and how willing you are to talk about your sex life.

Many people dream of becoming a celebrity. It’s not that hard any more because you don’t have to come from an affluent family, be good at sports or get great academic marks. Reality TV has made the dreams of many hopeful celebrity wannabes come true.

I had my reservations when I went to audition for the ninth season of one of the most watched reality TV shows on the continent, Big Brother Africa.

This was my third time auditioning and I was almost sure that I would make it this time, reach the top two and be able to represent South Africa in the house.

The weather was not friendly at all. Joburg around this time of year is freezing. My friend Ola warned me to bring warm clothes, but hey, I didn’t listen. I rocked my boots, torn jeans, vest and a blazer.

I arrived late and was told that registration was over and they couldn’t help me. I told them that I had come all the way from Durban. Luckily, one of the senior guys helped me and allowed me to audition.

The line was still long. Out of the 250 people who turned up, only 25 had been selected to go through to the second round. I had my fingers crossed that I would be one of them.

While waiting to be called in, I was already shivering from the cold weather. It must have been about 6°C. A few housemate hopefuls were auditioning in their summer clothes – hot pants, crop tops and sheer stockings. They were wearing loads of make-up and tacky weaves. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought I was at the wrong audition.

Finally, my turn came. Because I’d done this before, I wasn’t nervous at all. I got there and told the guy who was auditioning me who I was.

He immediately asked me whether I was South African because of my “exotic” surname and the way I looked. After I made it clear that I was South African, he asked me what my talents were. I thought he was joking, so I asked him if talking a lot counts as a talent.

He then asked me why I wanted to be part of the Big Brother ­household. What cracked me up the most was when I had to select one picture from a bunch laid out on the table that would describe me the best. To my horror, none of the ­pictures there really described me. There was a jellyfish, snowy mountains, a screaming girl, flowers, polar bears and birds.

After that was said and done, I exited the room. Only one person was selected from our group – a young woman in hot pants and cherry-red lipstick. Not that I was surprised, because when you looked at the women who got a golden ticket, most of them were dressed in rather revealing clothes.

A well-known entertainment personality who didn’t want to be named was horrified by her audition. They asked her what her favourite sex ­position was. She responded that she hadn’t had sex in years, but missionary style used to be her favourite.

Yes, we understand it’s Big Brother and anything can happen in the house, but seriously, this left a bitter taste in my mouth. We know that good girls don’t make the news, but what happened to being yourself? I can only conclude that if you want to audition for a show like this, you should be prepared to sell your soul to the devil. I guess I will be seeing them again next year.

Big Brother Africa season nine will be screened live on DStv channels 197 and 198 from Sunday, September 7. GOtv audiences will be able to watch highlights of the show

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