I s**t you not. Rhodes’ statue has to fall

2015-03-22 15:00

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Thursday. I’m baffled. Not by Arsenal’s early exit from the Champions League. My men unfortunately do it every season after scraping into the competition at the end of the previous one. At least Atletico are still in it.

I’m baffled about the outcry over Cecil John Rhodes. Or rather, I’m baffled about the outcry over the fact that students want Rhodes’ statue at the University of Cape Town taken down and have covered it in excrement because of the lack of response from the larneys on campus.

Firstly, the statue should have been pulled down and given to the Apartheid Museum in about May 1994.

Rhodes was a nasty piece of work. A rapacious white-supremacist whose gluttonous, imperialist dream was to become the nightmare of millions of black South Africans.

It might have been the Nats who coined the word ‘apartheid’, but it was scumbags like Rhodes who laid the groundwork for it.

It was Rhodes who so plummily articulated the idea of perpetual economic slavery for black South Africans and the unending rape of the continent’s resources.

Truth is, if the Boere had been left to their own devices in South Africa without any intervention from the Brits, the locals would have dealt with them in the appropriate manner.

That bunch of general misfits were hardly capable of organising a piss-up in a brewery, let alone a sustained colonial subjugation of a continent.

If the Brits – read Rhodes – hadn’t kicked their asses and helped to create their so-called union, the Boere would have been slaughtered by the Zulus.

I’m also a bit baffled by the outcry over the poo protest. Truth is, s**t- slinging has been a form of protest worldwide for some time.

French revolutionary author Emile Zola wrote about it in The Earth. Bobby Sands and Irish Republic Army detainees used the poo protest with devastating effect in the Maze Prison.

Msizi Dube’s followers did the same in Lamontville, Durban, during the Asinamali campaign and later in the campaign against incorporation into the KwaZulu bantustan in the 1980s.

Fela Kuti’s attempts to shower a presidential convoy with buckets of poo will forever be part of Nigeria’s history.

So, let’s get the bastard torn down, and quickly.

After all, a South African statue of Rhodes makes about as much sense as an Israeli statue of Hitler. I s**t you not.

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