I’m one of Maggie’s little spongers

2013-04-15 12:02

Just after my blog goes up last Monday I get the news: Thatcher’s snuffed it. Maggie’s bought the farm. I’m stoked. I’m a people loving cat. It’s not cool to rejoice in anybody’s death. But Maggie Thatcher was a genuinely nasty piece of work.

1975. We’d lived in Harper Street in East Belfast. It was a contested area. Regular sniping between the Catholic Church at one end of the street and the Brit patrols. The pub got burned. And looted.

We kicked it to this village called Moneyreagh. It’s all green and Irish looking. Hedges. A fishpond in the schoolyard. No alleyways, snipers or barbed wire. We’ve got an inside toilet. And a bathtub.

My dad’s working in South Africa. The Belfast ship-building industry’s screwed by the political violence. The Nats are looking for skills and cannon fodder. Gerald’s building strike craft and armoured cars. My mom – Winnie – works in a cigarette factory.

I get a school lunch. For free – on the state. As it should be. I don’t remember it tasting very good but it was lunch.

Enter Maggie Thatcher. Maggie’s on this mission. Maggie wants to stop working class kids from getting a school lunch. She literally wants to take the not-very-tasty-but-I’m-sure-nutritious food out of my mouth. Maggie reckons Harper’s a sponger.

There’s an uproar. There’s marches. There’s pickets. There’s vigils. This is Ulster. They know how to do this thing. It’s genetic. People are forgetting to hate each other. Everybody hates Maggie.

There’s this march in the village. The natives are restless. The rallying point’s the school. Winnie’s peeved. She’s Mrs Organiser as usual. Winnie’s a contradiction that only the Shankill Road could give birth to. Winnie’s rabidly pro-Brit.

She’s got two uncles in Crumlin Road for killing IRA operatives. She’s also a die-hard trade unionist. Winnie’s rabidly anti-Thatcher. I get dragged along. As usual. Winnie’s wrapped me in layers of foam rubber from an old mattress.

She’s made me this placard: “I’m one of Maggie’s little spongers.’’

Maggie wasn’t happy with taking my lunch. She was only warming up. Maggie spent her life at war with the working class. Maggie started a war with Argentina. Because she could.

Maggie dragged out the war in Ulster. Maggie propped up apartheid. Maggie privatised. Maggie destroyed. Maggie even tried to ban football. That’s how evil she was.

I hope there is a life after death. That means Maggie’s burning in hell.

Join the conversation!

24.com encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Inside News24


Men.24 Model of the Week: Wendy from Cape Town

Find out more about our featured model, Wendy from Cape Town


You won't want to miss...

Who are the highest paid models of 2017?
10 gorgeous plus-sized models who aren't Ashley Graham
WATCH: Pornhub is giving users free access to premium content these holidays
5 top leg exercises for men
Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.