Is it time to cover our number ones in number twos?

2013-06-16 14:00

In comedy, if you hijack other people’s work its called stealing. In journalism, it’s called plagiarism. In music, it’s called deejaying.

In politics, it’s called, er, politics. Comrade Julius Malema is back in the news, and around the country satirical puppets and puppets of Irish /

Afrikaans media mafia houses are sacrificing goats to the gods of headlines.

It’s surprising that the guy who swore his blood was black, green and gold is starting a new party.

I guess he couldn’t pay tax because he needed to pay for a blood transfusion? Does Juju have any white blood cells?

He is calling his new movement the Economic Freedom Fighters, which makes them sound like the South African Power Rangers.

The thing is, I agree with him.

The Gupta long-term investment strategy, called the ANC, and the Stormers fan club, the DA, are very unlikely to seriously rock the status quo.

There is even a rumour that the reason the rand dropped was because the Guptas closed their Edgars account.

Inequality seems normalised for these guys.

How do you make someone poo in a bucket and call it “service delivery”? No wonder the DA is fighting to allow chicken imports. They are looking out for the interests of white meat.

The ANC spent R48?million on a website.

Is that why they want the Juju tax money so badly? They need it to fund a blog. And WTF is with the MTN prepaid vouchers thing? It’s only a matter of time before the ANC boycotts computers for having the keys D and A.

And Cosatu? If the unions own the Golden Arrow Bus Company, then transport workers are striking against themselves.

“We will be marching to Cosatu House, where we will hand our demands to ourselves. Hopefully, we don’t back down.”

But just because Comrade Julius is right about economic freedom doesn’t mean he’s the guy to bring it, or right about how to do it.

He has a R16?million tax bill, so basically, middle class South Africa has a fat guy telling them they must lose weight.

Go to gym yourself, fat guy. People are already representing themselves.

Look at these new people called the Workers and Socialist Party (Wasp).

They’re going to be pissed when they find out Wasp usually means White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

We also have the PAC, but they have so few members they could be a team in the PSL. We have Agang.

What do their volunteers actually do, apart from getting other volunteers?

So why do we need Juju?

Apparently he is the voice of the youth. So?

Knowing who DJ Milkshake is doesn’t qualify you to run a gold mine.

I like his irreverence though. Maybe throwing poo at politicians is exactly what we should be doing: cover number ones in number twos.

»?Missing is a political analyst on Late Nite News with Loyiso Gola on eNCA

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