Morons be morons

2014-02-17 10:00

Joining any political party seems to be a euphemism for putting your functioning brain on hold until further notice.

The problem with morons is that it’s impossible to explain to them that they are morons.

Take how the ANC’s deputy secretary-general, Jessie Duarte, wrote in this paper last week that if the DA won, it would sell South Africa to New York and London.

I completely feel comrade Jessie’s anger.

The ANC is very clear – only the Guptas can buy South Africa.

If the ANC is serious about its promise of 6?million jobs, it will start a further education and training college for “service-delivery protesters” to develop skills like blocking townships with burning tyres, burning down libraries and, of course, not getting killed by your own government.

Well done, ANC. Twenty years is all it took to go from “kill the boer” to “kill the poor”.

In fact, the service-delivery protesters would get more attention from Luthuli House if they dressed in DA T-shirts and marched on it.

Then we saw an Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) bakkie handing out tyres – because every revolution needs a wheel.

The party said its members were collecting tyres, not handing them out, which makes sense because travelling at 212km/h must burn through Juju’s tyres.

Now it looks like Juju will be barred from becoming an MP because of his tax situation.

The EFF’s plan is simple: R16?000?000 = Juju’s tax bill; a red beret = R120. So they just have about 133?334 berets to go.

The EFF is telling the world President Jacob Zuma is using the SA Revenue Service (Sars) against Juju for personal political gain.

So basically Sars is to Zuma what the Limpopo government was to Juju.

True or not, you know the revolution is on hold when the president’s son (allegedly) kills someone with his Porsche and doesn’t get charged.

If you are wondering where the ANC Youth League is, it just had a rally at a shopping centre in Sandton. That pretty much sums up what’s wrong with the league.

The DA is pretending to be the opposition, but all it can come up with is marching. And if you didn’t register to vote, yes, it will blame you for it losing the election.

The party’s Lindiwe Mazibuko said the DA was aiming for 30% of the vote. You know you are the opposition when your big ambition is the same as the matric pass mark.

@chestermissing is a political analyst on eNCA’s Late Nite News

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