On voting day – and bad sex

2014-05-06 17:26

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Tuesday. Gary and I are in Eshowe. Eshowe’s not far from Nkandla. Nkandla’s 50-odd kilometres from Nxamalala. That’s where the Commander in Chief lives.

We’ve had a groovy couple of weeks on the road following the president. Hard living, but a lot of fun. Ending up in places we had no business being in. Seen some mad things. And people.

There’s been lots of early flights and drives. Awful hangovers after stints with unsavoury individuals like Blankman, Giba and Mister Banks.

We’ve seen lots of the CiC but haven’t had a chance to chat. His machine has very effectively kept us at more than arm’s length. It’s been like that but one works with what one gets. We’ve also had to share lodgings with far too many Babylons on the road.

We missed the CiC’s media gig on Monday. I’m kinda glad.

We hit Durban on Monday morning to lick our wounds after Sunday’s murderer of a rally at FNB. The ANC pulled off a big one, all right. The stadium was fuller than for the derby.

President Jacob Zuma greets the crowd at the FNB Stadium at the start of the Siyanqoba rally on Sunday (May 4 2014). Picture: Muntu Vilakazi/City Press

It rocked, even if it was a bit too choreographed for my liking. The CiC’s speech was more like a congress report, but he still burned the stadium. Even Zeelah’s attempt to fly over the stadium and steal the CiC’s thunder failed.

A plane with a DA banner flies over the FNB Stadium during the ANC’s rally. Picture: Muntu Vilakazi/City Press

I’m not big on Doctor Malinga and I missed the Gunners locking down the Champion’s League berth, but it was worth the Rea Vaya trip to the stadium and back.

There’s last-minute canvassers up and down the road outside the George Hotel trying to convince the unconvinced. I’m still unconvinced. Nobody’s called or messaged offering to legalise it in exchange for my vote.

Read: Who wants Paddy Harper’s vote?

One more sleep and we’re off to Nxamalala. Ntolwane Primary School, to be precise. The Commander in Chief’s playing the big home fixture there in the morning. Making a cross next to his own head.

It’s gonna be a mad gig. A crazed end to a couple of hard weeks on the road. An intense 15 minutes of media frenzy as the CiC gets to make the mark.

These kinda gigs are like bad sex. All hype beforehand. Lots of rough jostling, elbows and knees. Then it’s over and you’re left with this empty feeling. Then it’s time to go.

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