Poptartology: Muti murder and Chappies bubblegum

2013-04-28 06:00

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Not the viral video of the week

My favourite viral moment that never happened this week arrived at our offices courtesy of the IFP.

As we sat with our heads in our hands, still reeling from the passing of the Secrecy Bill, there was a ping on our collective email.


PRESS ALERT: The YouTube video of the passionate speech delivered by the Honourable Mario Oriani-Ambrosini, MP on the ‘Secrecy Bill’ is going viral on YouTube.

At that stage, the “viral” video had 90 hits – which could possibly have been generated by a spell of feverish clicking over at party headquarters. Now it’s at 200 or so – no doubt generated by amused journalists showing their friends.

It contains some precious potentially viral moments – Oriani-Ambrosini’s dramatic holding of his ribcage and stating he’s “heavily medicated” and then ANC MP Thandi Tobias-Pokolo facetiously stopping him to suggest he be given some water.

But alas, it went the way of the party in a general election.

Old poptarts never die

The IFP must not be disheartened, though. They must take a leaf from Julius Malema’s book.

Even in the political wilderness and facing huge challenges, Juju is making a pitch for a new career, now that his farming days seem numbered.

He arrived at a shisanyama in Centurion last weekend with DJ Mahoota and helped himself to a DJ set.


Spaced out Cape Town

What generated a whole lot more action than the IFP and Julius Malema, though, was the photos of South Africa from space, tweeted by astronaut Chris Hadfield? (@Cmdr_Hadfield), especially this one of Cape Town.

Picture: Chris Hadfield

We know the city has a reputation for being spaced out, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

Are your eyes racist?

Something else that actually did go viral this week was the story about the finalists in the Miss South Korea beauty pageant.

Picture: Reddit

The photos of the 20 lovely ladies were originally posted on a Japanese blog and the interwebs erupted about the women all looking so similar.

It was put down to the growing problem of plastic surgery at beauty pageants and even generated a little Gif action.

Are our eyes racist or do they all look the same? The sad answer is neither of the above.

They are not from the Miss South Korea pageant and they are more than likely photoshopped, as the fabulous blog Kotaku so kindly pointed out.

Tokoloshe call home…

The Daily Sun this week managed to out-tart even the IFP.

Following up from their real, actual photo of a real, actual tokoloshe some years back…

Picture: Lindokuhle Nkosi

This week they took the story to a logical conclusion. This was the poster that made my week:

Picture: Daily Sun


Die Antwoord, meanwhile, announced that they’ll be starring in Neill Blomkamp’s next film. Blomkamp is the man behind Distict 9 and Elysium. Ninja says their mate is working with them on a sci-fi comedy called Chappie.

Said Ninja to Die Burger: “The budget is $50 million and is being financed by a bunch of p**s rich f*****s from Hollywood.”

Of course, miffed with the English press who have accused them of being sensational blackfacers who’ve appropriated gangsta culture and merged it with white poverty, the band seem to be talking only to the Afrikaans press to generate their elaborate media releases.

Picture: Die Antwoord

They told Die Burger that their new album will be out in February 2014 and will be called Dark Force (Donker Mag).

Their first single will be called Cookie Thumper and their tour will be called Blonde All Over – hence the new image from Ninja, obviously this time taking on Madonna instead of Gaga.

Heel of hell

Speaking of bubblegum, a tip of the cap to designer Kobi Levi, for his chewing gum-heel shoe:

Picture: Kobi Levi

It’s matched only by the latest fashion trend from Japan, the Tomato Hairdo.

Poptart of the week: Cata Pirata

We love Yolandi Visser, but she needs to sit down a moment. A new female rapper from South Africa is stirring up the international underground, rapping about muti murder, Marikana and love jihads, and experimenting with a range of sounds “from kumbaya to kwaito”.

Her name is Cata Pirata, she is the vocalist in a band called Skip&Die and she is a poptart of note. I’m ashamed to say, dear readers, that I hadn’t even heard of her until sci-fi guru Bruce Sterling alerted me on Twitter.

I immediately hopped on to her website and contacted her management to set up an interview. You can read the whole thing over here, in The 15-minute Interview.

Picture: Prestage Magazine

“Feel this crazy kwaito beat beat beat beat” chants Cata Pirata, known for her madly energetic live performances and guerilla styling. Her tracks, containing “South African rap, filthy beats and lots of bass” have names like Get Your Braai On and Love Dagger.

Cata Pirata also studied art and makes the experimental videos for the band. Their latest is the divine Anti-Capitalista, a revolution song designed as a singalong ditty.

It’s not the usual fare from the artist, who has a spitty little rap style that gives me a large happy. Check out Love Jihad and then go trawling through the Skip&Die website, where you’ll find collaborations with emerging kwaito artists and Spoek Mathambo as well as videos like Jungle Riot, intercut with footage from the Marikana massacre.


Cata Pirata is fierce, political and dangerously styled. She’s inspired by South Africa, but is a product of everywhere she’s ever lived. And that’s Joburg, the Azores, the UK, Ibiza, Argentina, Brazil and the Netherlands. She’s a fresh new cultural mash-up with a brain and I’m guessing we won’t be able to ignore her for long.

By the way, I’m loving her latest look, which she Instagrammed from her Twitter account (@CataPirata).

Tumble for ya

Although I have a T-shirt that reads “No-one reads your blog” I don’t for a second believe it. Some formidable new offerings out there include a shameless mockery of Kate Middleton, an edgy, pop culturish diary from writer Lindokuhle Nkosi and a new web presence for poetry queen Lebo Mashile.

Picture: Lebo Mashile

Death by pop

This week Rihanna sets a new Billboard record for the most number-one pop songs and Psy smashed the most-watched YouYube record with his Gentleman video, with over 200 million views in 10 days.

But it’s that pouty little Justin Bieber who stole the show. He made a deep, soulful tweet: “Believe in yourself” that so affected his fans that they retweeted it 190 000 times, beating out other insights like “I love music” and “I trust u. #MyBeliebers”. Never has he more deserved the treatment he received this week. First an app called Brutalize that turns his songs into death metal and then a Tumblr that cut and pastes his head over the villainous brat Joffrey from Game of Thrones .

Meanwhile, a new study has revealed that some contestants on German TV talent shows are so humiliated by the experience that they remain depressed for years.

You can now buy a sweatshirt with Oprah’s face all over it

Picture: Beloved Shirts

Stoned wallabies are responsible for making crop circles

You can view full episodes of the hit TV drama Intersexions II on YouYube

And the gate to hell has been found in Turkey

Tupac says…

The return, baba

While I loved the new track by Black Coffee and Hugh Masekela, We Are One, and got a kick out of the fact that the new Talib Kweli video High Life  was shot in South Africa, I can’t get enough of the return of Mafikizolo.

The South African kwaito stars have been rocking the club with Khona off their new album Reunited. Now there’s a video.


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