Poptartology: #ThankYouGuptas for this blog

2013-05-05 06:00

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This just in!

Donald Trump’s hair has been discovered crawling in the Amazon.

Picture: Phil Torres

After all the speculation about this hairstyle, it seems no one had ever before stopped and asked the obvious question:

But isn’t it just a venomous Peruvian moth living up there?


Over at the Valley of the Guptas, or “Sunjay City” as Trevor Noah called it, the fake African wonderland was transformed into a fake Indian wonderland and Vega Gupta emerged from a giant pink lotus flower to be greeted by her groom.

None of that mattered, though, in light of the drama unfolding in Waterkloof, Pretoria, where guests had landed at a military base – and no one is taking any blame for the security breach. Last week was security breach week – with the passing of the Secrecy Bill in Parliament – not this week.

As @schabbies tweeted: “Everyone is talking about the Gupta scandal at the Waterkloof airport. But what about the wedding? What about the bribe? I mean, the bride?”

Even though the Guptas own the New Age newspaper to give government a voice, cabinet ministers have discovered an alternative strategy: The unprecedented press conference. Taking a leaf from Dina Pule’s book, numerous ministers this week called another unprecedented presser and blamed everyone but themselves.

Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa said he’d be investigating if Gupta guests were not, in fact, escorted by fake blue light cops. He’s losing his touch. All he needed to do was blame Professor, the Durban kwaito star who was fined for his fake police attire at a music awards ceremony recently.

Of course, that set the social networks off at once.

According to @Kwazingwenya: “Traffic so bad on the freeway. Taxis speeding past us on the yellow lane. Gupta style.”

While #Guptagate became the hashtag of the week, beating out #Zupta, my personal favourite was #ThankYouGuptas that grew legs after Atul Gupta told us we should be thankful for the family bringing investment into the country.

@AhmedTilly set the ball rolling with “TGIF Thank Guptas It’s Friday” and the fun began:

#ThankYouGuptas for bringing Cde Gwede out of hiding”; “Good weather we having today in Jhb #ThankYouGuptas”; “#ThankYouGuptas for this red velvet cake.”

Dina Pule too, I’m sure, was thanking the Guptas for taking the spotlight off her unprecedented presser. As was, no doubt, the president. #Nkandlagate vanished in the mist and everyone forgot about that deeply humiliating unprecedented SABC-exclusive presser with a frail Madiba and a grinning prez.

Why worry about unemployment, housing and poverty when we have millionaire weddings to deal with.

Happy thoughts

Think happy thoughts, dear readers, happy thoughts. May I recommend you click here and listen to Kinshasa rapper Alec Lomami’s new track Pardon My French in which he samples Pata Pata but speeds it up. It’s Miriam Makeba like you’ve never heard her before. #ThankYouGuptas for the music.

Street smart

And for street art. Cape Town muralist Faith47 has made a new piece in Atlantis in the Western Cape.

Picture: Klaus Warschkow/Street Art News

It only narrowly beat out this gorgeous little living art number in Brooklyn:

Picture: Allison Pennell

Mad magazines

#ThankYouGuptas for The Onion, the spoof news site that has spawned a satire revolution. This week saw the launch of Reductress, a site that does to women’s magazines what The Onion does to newspapers.

Here you can learn about food-based substitutes for love.

And other pressing social issues of the day.

And if that’s not ridiculous enough for you, check out this Tumblr that turns Cosmo into a political manifesto, Cosmarxpolitan.

Picture: Cosmarxpolitan

They should include a story on the Boston Bombers. The Brofiling blog took on the editors of news mag The Week for creating a cover that profiled the white men responsible in “Muslim hues”.

Picture: Brofiling

Poptarts of the week: FOKN Bois

It’s slowly changing, but South Africans are notoriously unwilling to acknowledge the existence of African pop outside our borders (except sometimes when we mistake it for a local track). We are more interested in a wedding scandal at home than envelope-pushing Ghanaian hip hop. So meet FOKN Bois, a socio-political satirical rap outfit from Ghana who are basically Die Antwoord with a brain. Skip to the next entry, though, if you are sensitive about, well, anything at all.

Picture: FOKN Bois/Facebook

“Hip Hop pranksters FOKN Bois (who are deliberately setting out to prove that Ghanaian music is more than highlife, hiplife or azonto) are back with perhaps their craziest project yet ... They bring us the world’s first ‘Gospel Porn album by the most politically incorrect Christian Rap group of the times,” said the blog Africa is a Country a year ago when they released their album FOKN Wit Ewe.

Take a look at one of their older videos, BRKN LNGWJZ (Broken Languages), to get acquainted if you don’t already know them. (Warning: Explicit language and men in underwear.)


You can go looking for the songs and videos off the new album yourselves. I don’t feel like a tirade of outraged e-mails. You’ll find tracks that prod at social issues like homophobia and Islamophobia and challenge government conservativism. Like Thank God We’re Not a Nigerians, Sexin Islamic Girls, Strong Homosexual Guys and Help America.

This last one is a good, safe example of their script-flipping brand.

“Are you enjoying it there?” asks a voice in the intro. “No daddy! They are struggling, they are struggling here. I want to come back home to Ghana,” says his son. Here’s the chorus:

Dad, help America

Somalia, help America

Mexico, help America

Give them something to eat

They are starving on the streets

FOKN Bois have also made a movie, called Cos ov Moni. It’s billed as “the world’s first pidgin musical”.

According to this blogger the duo are almost finished with Cos ov Moni 2. Afropop tracked them down the other day and revealed that Wanlov has a pet monkey. The real reason they’re back in the news, though, is for their controversial public service announcement, Message from Heaven.

Their latest naughty little video “contributes to the political discussion as to whether or not it is justified for government to sponsor 200 men of God to go to Israel to pray for the nation,” says Ghana Web.

Beyoncé of the week

Another week of Tumblr and another victory for Beyoncé. While I was tickled pink about White Men Wearing Google Glass, especially when compared with Minorities Wearing Google Glass, it was Beyoncé Art History that really made me smile. In it, Beyoncé songs are coupled with classic paintings.

Graphic: Beyoncé Art History

Fong Kong and rubber ducks

Meanwhile, the world’s largest rubber duck has arrived in Hong Kong.

Picture: My Modern Met

The original Star Wars is to be the first film translated into Navajo by the Native American tribe.

There’s a new Bakwa Mag out and included is this brief history of African songs stolen by international music stars.

In a bizarre Fong Kong move, Rocket News has revealed how China rips off Hollywood posters and uses them for entirely different movies.

And The Telegraph has revealed what historical figures would have looked like dressed in today’s fashions. Hipster Shakespeare made me smile.

Picture: Yesterday/The Telegraph

Experimental SA pop culture art collective, Cuss, has a new website.

Mountain Dew pulls Odd Future’s stupid talking goat commercial after accusations of racism and women-abuse.

And artists have made art inspired by the smudges left behind by fingers using iPads. Yes, they have.

Rousing finale

Sticking with Ghana, the new music video that made me happiest this week was from E.L. – a star producer turned artist. The track is called Hallelujah and features rapper M.anifest.



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