SEX- Introducing a little kink can spice up your love life

2015-04-19 13:40

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In an effort to heighten or enhance sexual intimacy between partners, kink goes beyond what is considered conventional sex.

Some draw a distinction between kink and fetishism, but the term has been claimed by those who practise fetishism.

“Kinky” is a more informal term that generally refers to any sexual behaviour that is atypical and encompasses sexual fetishes.

Sexual fetishes are formed early in life and can be powerful. Some research suggests you might even be genetically predisposed towards them.

There is nothing wrong with having a fetish unless it interferes with your normal sex life, or if you can’t become aroused without the fetish object.

Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), Sadism and Masochism (SM), commonly known as BDSM, covers a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, role-playing and restraint and other interpersonal dynamics.

In the BDSM context, relationships are often characterised by the participants taking on complementary but unequal roles. This makes consent from both parties important. In general, BDSM play is usually structured so that it is possible for the consenting partner to withdraw his or her consent, often with the use of a safe word. The dominant party is the participant who exerts sexual dominance, while the passive party is called the submissive.

Communication with your partner is key – don’t do something drastic without first asking for consent.

Telling a partner about a fetish can be nerve-wracking, and shame often leads to silence – especially because we are discouraged to reveal our sexual desires.

If your partner approaches you with a desire to try something new, don’t shut them down without hearing them out first.


Have you ever tried something kinky?

Tell us about your experience by sending us an SMS on 35697 using the keyword SEX. Please include your name. SMSes cost R1.50

Kinky to you might not be kinky to everyone. Dressing up, bondage and role play are just some of the things you can do to spice up your love life, writes #Trending’s resident sex coach

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