So what’s your number?

2012-09-28 09:58

There’s something almost taboo about mentioning the number of lovers one has had. If it’s too low, you haven’t experienced enough; if it’s too high, you’re a slut or a player. But what’s in a number, asks Sixolisiwe Ndawo

Number of lovers: 20
Sia (26) is a single mother with a husky voice and a laid-back personality. She is a confident woman who celebrates her sexuality.

“I don’t know my number and have never actually thought about it. I have never taken the time to think about that. For what?” she says.

Sia says when her boyfriend raised the question, she also gave him a “What the hell?” kind of answer.

“From the top of my head, I’ve probably been with 20 guys, but that was in varsity and excludes my current boyfriend. The number doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m easy as I have been around and I do use condoms. It’s just a number and it doesn’t represent who I am.

“Men sleep with a lot of women and they are called ‘the man’ and ‘a player’ and that’s a good thing. But when women do the same they get called names like bitches and whores.

"I don’t care. I know who I am; the number of men I have slept with does not define the woman that I am. I’m liberated.”

Number of lovers: 20+
Azola (26) says that for every man that she sleeps with, she must be in a relationship with him.

She laughs at the number issue.

“I would say between 15 and 20 - maybe more. I have actually stopped counting and that number is from the top of my head. There are men that I have dated and there are some I can’t even remember today that I slept with.

“Look my current boyfriend asked me how many men I’ve slept with and I shrugged that question off like a bad rash hey.”

She laughs at the number issue and says that women are like men now, “we are liberated and that is enough.”

Number of lovers: 30+
Mpho (35) says sex is recreational for her, hence she has “been with so many men”.


I’ve been into and others were purely for sex, where they didn’t have

to call me back at all. It’s common for women to see a man and want to

sleep with him and nothing more.”

Mpho says she’s currently into younger men.


all just for sex right now for me. I have been through a lot and have

issues of my own to sort out before I become serious with a man.”


for whether the number of lovers she has had would be an issue in a

future relationship, Mpho says, “I’ve been with over 30 men and am still


He’d probably have had the same - if not more - so why

should it be an issue? Even if he asked, I wouldn’t tell him the truth


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