Some more, please: No more stuff please, it’s my birthday

2011-05-05 13:05

Alas, today is my birthday. I have reached an age where it’s less of a celebration and a lot more of a commiseration.

But the alternative to birthdays is much worse, so I might just as well grin, bear it and eat cake (which will go straight to my ample, slightly passed its prime bum).

Apart from looming old age, the big birthday issue is presents. And I don’t want any.

My life is chock full of stuff, gadgets, knick knacks, odds and sods. I have told everyone this and they look at me uncomprehendingly.

And buy me yet another thing I don’t need.

What I do need is someone to do the dishes so that I can have an extra glass of wine in peace, someone to plan and execute the toddler’s dinners for a week so I don’t have to keep a mental checklist of how many green, yellow and red vegetables she’s eaten, whether she’s had enough fruit or whether her protein should be fish, chicken or cheese.

I’d also like someone to take my car to be washed so that I can see out of the windscreen or someone to go and do my chore at the city council offices so I don’t have to deal with the surly faces there.

Ideally I’d like someone to make sure that the only pyjamas the toddler will wear aren’t in the wash covered in mud and to remember to phone the plumber to deal with that awful drip-drip.

As consumers we are all really well trained to buy stuff for every occasion – birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and any other day that can have a card dedicated to it – and it’s oh so easy.

When the gift’s a bit crap, the person says: “It’s the thought that counts.” But the one thing that is in short supply when most gifts are bought in a flurry of panic is a thought.

All I can hope for is that someone has thought to hang up the washing today and make my birthday one chore short of ordinary.

» Follow me on Twitter @GayleMahala. Follow City Press: @City_Press

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