Some more, please: Someone else’s turkey this year

2010-12-08 14:42

As the year draws to a close I have to admit to a severe lack of inspiration in the kitchen and out.

I have been producing the same old fishcakes, quiche and sausage selection for days now for toddler consumption – I just can’t seem to do any better.

Even more tragic, it’s time to start planning what to stuff in the turkey, but, frankly, I am too stuffed to care.

Usually by early December, I have begun my yearly food hoarding habits. Buying up all sorts of stuff to freeze and squirrel away for a rainy holiday.

This year, though, I have been gazing longingly at the menus of the local posh hotels, fantasising about someone else, anyone else, making the blessed turkey – and stuffing it – and packing the dishwasher afterwards.

What I refer to as my entertaining cupboard is standing dormant.

The champagne glasses unclinked, the crystal trifle bowl unlayered with sponge, fruit and custard and the stacks of serving platters facing a Christmas without slices of ham, turkey and lamb draped on them.

Even the container of goose fat I keep isn’t holding out any hope of being slathered on roast potatoes this Christmas day.

The festive star-shaped glass bowls that come out every December to be filled with chocolates (used to be Quality Street, but they are horrible these days) and nuts are gathering dust.

It is indeed a sign of the fatigue born of a long, hard year when I – the most gluttonous show-off in the kitchen I know – can’t think of a thing to cook and couldn’t care less what she eats.

Pass the menu …

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