The F Word: Weird agent vibes aside...

2010-11-10 09:51

Buying a home ain’t no joke. At 25, I am an old donkey still living at home.

Yes, most people move out at 18. But I love my family and always knew I wanted to own my own place and never help pay off someone else’s bond.

So I am on the prowl for something cheap, safe and neat.I don’t think I am asking for too much; yet the three don’t seem to co-exist.

The last property I viewed seemed to tick all the items on the check-lists: it was cheap, in a relatively safe area, and even the outside of the building looked nice.

But when I viewed the apartment I noticed something slightly askew... literally. The balcony was skew – as in, viewed from the outside, the walls did not match, meaning the balcony had a slope.

“Semantics” according to the agent. “As you can see, for your price range this is a fairly good property”, said the agent.

“Where would I hang my washing?” I asked sheepishly.

“In the communal washing area,” he said, before showing me a washing line that was so communal that my intimates would hang next to someone else’s.

Another unit I viewed, with an asking price of a whopping half-a-million, had a bathroom with no window.

When entering the apartment I was met with that wet-mildewy-my-friends-will-never-visit-me-smell. The bathroom was a nightmare – something you would find in Bara hospital, only dirtier.

I know that in my tiny price range I shouldn’t expect a castle. However, there are those agents who think that any establishment is a palatial setting fit for the queen herself. Agents may come up with a euphemism for whatever it is they trying to sell... but I call it delusional.

I am still hopeful that one day, maybe, before I turn oh... a hundred... I will find a place I can call home.

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