The great SA soap opera

2013-04-21 10:00

The Mandelas are fighting over money, Margaret Thatcher is dead, the ANC?Youth League’s leadership has been replaced by puppets and Trevor Manuel thinks we should stop blaming apartheid.

Anything is possible right now. The only certainty is change?.?.?.?and that Kenny Kunene has a venereal disease.

Power has shifted since Juju’s days, and that always means a change in relationships. Did you see Blade lashing out at Vavi the other day?

It’s not an alliance, it’s a soapie with communists: The Blade and the Beautiful. I am totally freaked out by the Mandelas fighting over money. It’s like catching the Smurfs doing crack. This is what happens if you see your grandpa on a R100 note.

Now the youth league has a “national task team”, of which many members have family connections to senior ANC cadres. Did the interview process comprise one question: “Who’s your daddy?”

Will this team be able to create actual change? They’ve got Shaka Sisulu. Maybe they hope the ANC’s enemies have a lisp or mfecane issues?

Then, regarding whether the ANC should or shouldn’t blame apartheid, I saw the presidency say on Twitter: “There is no contradiction between President Zuma and Minister Manuel.” Maybe Uncle Mac could clarify?

So the ANC is a socialist, capitalist, conservative, progressive, political party and investment group that is for and against blaming apartheid?

With the amount of spin coming out of Mac Maharaj, it’s a wonder Samsung hasn’t named a washing machine after him.

Don’t get me wrong, the whole world is full of such madness. We have white people talking about how Van Riebeeck “discovered” South Africa, which is like saying hijackers “discover” BMWs.

White grannies called into radio stations praising ANC-hater the “Iron Lady”. I am sure somewhere in SA there was someone who thought this

was about a famous domestic worker. My first reaction after hearing Maggie was dead was: “Did Oscar do it?”

The problem is that, really, some things haven’t changed at all. How, in 2013, do we have UCT students thinking white people are sexier than everyone else?

Apparently, UCT students have sex in the same way as they vote. How are we ever going to get Muslim bras to play rugby when there’s a team called Crusaders?

Regarding the Boston bombings, I hear that US police said that they “suspect a dark-skinned male”. They’ll soon be suspecting a guy called Barak.

We need to shake things up. Look at the German women who got undressed and ran around naked to protest Vladimir Putin being there. Just don’t try that one on Msholozi.

»?Missing is a puppet political analyst on’s Late Nite News with Loyiso Gola

Join the conversation! encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Inside News24

Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.