The weird world of politics: Bounce along

2015-01-25 15:00

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Bounce along

Siyahleba’s mole was in a subcommittee of the rules committee of Parliament, which was discussing how to maintain law and order in the House.

Some suggestions were hair-raising, like one from the ANC to ban rude gestures and allow only party whips to raise points of order.

But the EFF’s irrepressible Godrich Gardee got carried away, suggesting that Parliament should employ burly nightclub-like bouncers to keep an eye on misbehaving MPs.

It was left to the ANC’s Connie September to remind Gardee that Parliament is neither a nightclub nor one of the famous clubs on Long Street.

Full of hot air

Gauteng police chief Lesetja Mothiba spends too much time in his air-conditioned office. This week he ventured into Soweto to see how his troops were dealing with the looting of foreign-owned shops.

Mothiba, probably overwhelmed by his men’s sheer incompetence in containing the situation, told a radio station the rampaging crowds were “looting, but peaceful”. Siyahleba could not find a bigger oxymoron.

He disagreed that the attacks were xenophobic, while pointing out that only shops belonging to ­foreigners were being looted.


Bob’s your uncle

Those Zimbabweans patiently awaiting the demise of Uncle Bob will have to wait a little longer.

Many were ready to pop the Champagne when they discovered that the uncle had not returned to office after taking leave in December.

But like a cat with nine lives, he resurfaced just as his enemies were about to write his obituary. It turns out the one with medical problems in the family is Her Excellency Dr Amai Grace Mugabe, who is 40 years her husband’s junior.

The First Lady, whose PhD thesis took all of three days to complete, is still in the Far East to have a troublesome appendix removed.

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