Let’s do the hula Numsa general secretary Irvin Jim has officially taken over from EFF leader Julius Malema as a user of flowery language in the alliance. In a five-hour speech, which was delivered in two parts (those introducing him warned that he might rival Fidel Castro), Jim sent detractors of his union on an island holiday. The next day, he said those who didn’t want to join Numsa should go to Honolulu. “You can tell them to go to Honolulu, the capital of Hawaii, because metal workers are united.” Early holidays, anyone? Coincidental need for speed The silly season entered a whole new dimension this week when EFF leader Julius Malema and right-wing Afrikaans singer Steve Hofmeyr were arrested for speeding on Thursday night. Hofmeyr was on his way to a concert, while Juju desperately campaigned in three provinces on one day. Jokes about race wars and socialist revolutions aside, Siyahleba wonders if Juju asked police officers whether they knew who he was, as he has done previously as an ANC Youth League leader. And if he did, we wonder if that wasn’t exactly the thing that got him into trouble this time around. Road trip to Gwede’s reality ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe seems to be as eager as the media to see the multimillion-rand Nkandla homestead. At an ANC briefing this week, he offered to take the media to see Zuma’s homestead as soon the Public Protector and interministerial reports are released. “Once we have both reports, we should have a media briefing in Nkandla with all of you [journalists] so you can see where this village is and where the soldiers and police live. Once we’ve done that, we won’t talk based on pictures, we’ll talk based on reality. This will also be educational for ourselves.” he said. Gwede, we’ll hold you to that. Say what?...? Whatever your view is about the spending on Nkandla, our president delivers – on gaffes, that is. The prez this week went back to Impendle in KwaZulu-Natal (where he insulted dog owners last year) to utter his latest one, saying he was so impressed by Venda women, he’d marry one if he had any vacancies left in his house. “A woman would clap her hands and even lie down to show respect,” he said. An unimpressed Siyahleba claps once for that.