This year had its fair share of jaw-dropping stories. Here is our selection of the weirdest ones of 2013. Is this SA’s dumbest thief? A Pretoria cellphone thief could just qualify for the title of South Africa’s most idiotic criminal after he uploaded a photograph of himself to the WhatsApp profile of his victim, Lohan van Heerden. Van Heerden (20) a student at the University of Pretoria was driving home from Hatfield to Pretoria Gardens when four men jumped into his car and robbed him of his phone, money and other belongings. The alleged thief used Van Heerden’s WhatsApp account on the stolen phone, providing police with a valuable lead. In KwaZulu-Natal, a community near Durban was harassed by a panty thief. One woman said the well-dressed man walked up to their washing line and took their panties but left behind her mother-in-law’s briefs. Clinical psychologist Cathrin Venter said stealing panties was part of a sexual fetish linked to observing or handling underwear worn by others. Moving south, a man who was caught breaking into a Cape Town home tried evading capture by telling the owner of the house he was having sex. The man inside the house told the owner to wait because he was still having sex and would open the door when he was done. After repeatedly knocking on the door, the suspect opened up for the owner and then stabbed him with a tool. He ran away but was later caught by the community and beaten up. As if OR Tambo International Airport customs officials don’t have enough on their plate... A passenger was stopped after disembarking on a flight from São Paulo in Brazil. He was initially taken in for questioning and a search by customs officials. “Nothing was found in his bags or on his body, but when we got him to take off his shoes, cocaine was taped to the soles of his feet,” SA Revenue Service spokesperson Marika Muller said. The drugs weighing 215 grams were valued at R58 502. Elsewhere in SA An unemployed Nomandiyephi Botha, from Lady Frere in the Eastern Cape, won a new Citroen C1 after sending 19 000 text messages – at a combined cost of R28 000. Botha sent 600 SMSs a day, each costing R1.50, while voting for her favourite radio presenter in the competition organised by the SA Traditional Music Achievement Awards. This Cape Town man spun the saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” on its head. He posted an advert on classifieds website Gumtree for half of his marital bed – apparently to get revenge on his unfaithful ex-wife. The advert, sorted into the category “Beds” read: “My brand new ex-wife still owns the other sideof (sic) the bed but don’t worry, she doesn’t seem to mind sharing it with complete strangers.” With a broken heart, Jean Greyling (28) burnt down Emoya Estate outside Bloemfontein after it cancelled his wedding booking. Greyling turned himself in a week after the fire and was found guilty by the Bloemfontein Regional Court. In his plea, he said: “It broke my heart to see my future wife in tears the whole day.” He was sentenced to four years in jail. Russell George from Prestbury, KwaZulu-Natal, locked a drunk police officer in his own police van. George said the police van was swerving wildly across the road before turning into oncoming traffic. He went in pursuit, then called 10111. The van stopped, at which point he confronted the drunk officer, pulled the man out of his van and bundled him into the back before locking the door. The officer was arrested. It lets out a high-pitched scream as you enter and then a sneering laugh. It’s a walk-in vagina, a conceptual art installation that had South Africans wagging their fingers and scratching their heads. Visitors at the apartheid-era women’s jail in Joburg entered a 12m red padded velvet and cotton canal by first stepping on to a tongue-like padding. Thick, black acrylic wool mimicked pubic hair around the opening. South African artist Reshma Chhiba said she wanted to make a statement about women’s power and also address the scourge of rape in South Africa. When a woman’s fed up ... These women did not let their partners do them wrong and go unpunished. A Brazilian woman cut off her husband’s penis after she caught him cheating on her with a man. The woman did not act at first but days later proposed a sex game during which she tied him to their bed and cut off his penis with a serrated knife. The man survived, but the organ didn’t. A woman was arrested in Soul City, near Krugersdorp, after telling police she picked a fight with her boyfriend and eventually stabbed him with an umbrella. The man was found dead when police arrived at the woman’s house, with wounds to his eyes, nose, forehead and arms. A US woman was sentenced to life for cutting off her estranged husband’s penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal. Prosecutors said Catherine Kieu drugged her husband’s tofu with sleeping pills and screamed: “You deserve it!” before attacking him with a kitchen knife. Ana Trujillo (44) of the US stabbed her boyfriend to death with a stiletto heel in his Houston condominium after a night of drinking, telling authorities she killed him in self-defence. A 61-year-old Japanese housewife battered her husband to death with a coffee cup after discovering he was cheating on her. She told police she went mad and hit him in the face and on the head more than ten times. “He had an affair with a woman I hate,” she said. Age ain’t nothing but a number Say hello to Mayor Robert “Bobby” Tufts. He’s four years old and not even in school yet but was up for re-election for mayor. Bobby was only 3 years old when he was elected last year as mayor of Dorset (population 22 to 28, depending on whether the minister and his family are in town). Dorset has no formal city government. Bobby’s major act as mayor so far has been to make ice cream the top of the food pyramid. He has many favourite flavours. “Chocolate. And vanilla. Strawberry. Cotton candy kind. And rainbow sherbet,” said the mayor. You are never too old for love, take it from this 92-year-old Iraqi farmer who married a woman 70 years his junior. “I feel like a 20-year-old!” He happily tied the knot alongside two teenage grandchildren, three years after the death of his first wife of 58 years – with whom he had raised 16 children. You named your baby what? Parents appeared to have lost any inspiration for coming up with a moniker for their offspring, so New Zealand officials released a list of banned names to help steer them in the right direction. The list was put forward by parents who had rejected the names because they were too bizarre or offensive, including “Lucifer” and “Mafia No Fear”. Other names on the list included “4Real”, “V8”, and “Queen Victoria”. For the love of money Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal filed a defamation suit against Forbes magazine in a British court, alleging its valuation of his wealth at $20 billion (R207 billion) was short of the mark by $9.6 billion. The prince was ranked number 26 in this year’s list. Too hot to handle? Three men were reportedly ejected from Saudi Arabia by religious police for being just too sexy. One of the men is Omar Borkan Al Gala (25) and he has neither confirmed nor denied that he is one of the ridiculously good-looking men asked to leave the conservative kingdom. An Arabic newspaper reported they were escorted out in case they caused women to have impure thoughts.