Uptown Girl – My Type of guy

2011-09-02 12:48

I have a type of guy I always go for. And trust me, I’m not saying this in a proud way because if they were wonderful creatures I’d be with one of them.

So, at the moment I’m single and looking, hoping, like it says in Jamie Foxx’s song, I don’t fall for their type.

Let me break down the characteristics of My Type.

This exercise is not solely for your amusement. In fact, it will help me with a checklist of what to watch out for when I eventually meet a potential boyfriend.

Ever since I can remember I’ve always gravitated towards charismatic guys.

It doesn’t matter if they’re as dark as 27 nights or make Blade Nzimande look like Mr South Africa. As long as they have a strong personality and charisma in spades I’ll pack it up and take it home.

I have dated and hooked up with different races – well, except Chinese because I’m still waiting for Jet Li.

I have tried on different sizes, from the bony, slender guy – which I don’t like – to the muscular – which I don’t like either.

I prefer the right side of toned and not overly so. And yes, I have dated guys who require one-and-a-half seats in the cinema – which I also don’t mind. I draw the line at two seats.

Size has never been a “My Type” issue. It’s the personality that gets me every time.

My Type is always that guy who walks into a room and commands everyone’s attention with his mere presence. He has the power aura even if he’s not the CEO of a multinational company.

His oratory skills can talk a BEE-mansion girl into giving up her weave on a permanent basis.

He doesn’t even have to be rich (but certainly not poor – even I have limits) and he knows what he wants and goes for it with dedication and determination.

Unfortunately, he’s also arrogant and has an ego that borders on arrogance but not quite there – arrogance is obnoxious in a guy. It’s just not sexy.

And yes, he is sexy. He’s the kind of guy that women find sexy (not cute) and he’s a guy’s guy.

The sad part is that My Type is kind of like me. We don’t beg. If he’s wronged me he’ll apologise but not beg me to forgive him. Rather than do that he waits me out until I’m over it because my anger doesn’t last too long.

Dammit. And when we eventually get together again he just carries on like nothing happened.

My Type is the ultimate in “cool”. He’s always on top of trends and more often than not he starts them.

And when I talk about trends I don’t mean fashion trends because while he might look hot in his guy clothes he doesn’t follow fashion trends. He has his own swagger.

He doesn’t like to call attention to himself but he gets it nonetheless without even trying.

I won’t even mention the part about him being great and tireless in the bedroom because that’s a given. Helping me with my closet is no easy job. What did you think I was talking about?

Out of all these characteristics the only good one is the bedroom part. Everything else I can take or leave.

So, tomorrow I’m going to go hang around the Johannesburg Stock Exchange area to catch myself a boring investment banker with a grey personality. That’s probably a good colour personality to offset my cool and colourful one.

If you know anyone boring but hot, send them my way. If I’m going to date Mr B. (for Boring) he’ll need to be pretty to make up for his lack of personality ...

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