Uptown Girl: Some man trouble, please

2010-11-25 08:39

Dear Festives,
Since everyone is writing open letters these days, I thought I’d join in – no trend passes me by.

This is the first of a series of requests I’ll be making to you until the holidays start.

The first is: I’d like to have some man trouble, please. No, I don’t want a boyfriend per se. If I can find a way to have the boyfriend problems without the boyfriend, that would be super.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not desperate or anything like that. It’s just that I’m dreading the moment when all my friends and I get together these holidays, with respective partners to have the odd braai or party.

I mean, I can only take my cousin along to parties for so long before it gets tedious. I love my cousin but she’s not going to fetch stuff for me or lovingly top up my glass of (insert name of expensive imported champagne) every time it gets to the half-way mark.

Besides that, what I miss most about having a boyfriend is having the problems that come with it. Now, don’t give my blog that weird side-eye look.

I like the happy times just as much as everyone else, but the make-up sex is worth having a boyfriend for.

I keep fantasising about fighting with my imaginary BF and giving him the cold shoulder for the whole day.

Of course we’ll attend an event together even though I would still give him the silent treatment in the car. My mouth would be too busy singing along to Beyonce’s Single Ladies while he casts bewildered looks at me.

Eventually, we will arrive at the party and I’ll hang with the boys, as I usually do and even make the odd private joke with him.

After a while – and a few bottles of Moët & Chandon (that he bought, of course) – I’ll mellow down and start kissing and cuddling up to him.

This will go on until it’s time to go home. Once we get into the car, he’d expect me to go back to being my sulking self but me being the super-cool girlfriend that I am, I’ll simply start getting down to the lovemaking right there. In the car.

Ok, this fantasy will end right here, dear Festives, while the rest will stay in my head because frankly, my diary might have a problem with me off-loading all these private thoughts on you.

Yours sincerely,
Uptown Girl

PS: If this happens to land on your friend’s computer, please, don’t let them forward an application yet. This heart is closed until further notice.

PPS: How cool is the personalised bottle of Moët that my imaginary guy bought for me?

Join the conversation!

24.com encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Inside News24

Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.