We need daddies, not sugars

2012-01-14 09:36

They like them young, unsullied, naive and shy. Shy enough to say YES even if they don’t like it.

To them it’s a thrilling sexual experience. A game that makes them feel young again and in control.

The young girls, on the other hand, think they “have arrived”, to put it in their terms.

For them it’s about occupying the heated front seats of the Tony Yengeni’s (Mercedes ML 350) or even better the BEE bicycles (Range Rover sports), as they are referred to in my hood.

These are the girls who are trendsetters at schools and in their communities. They are the envy of their peers because of their glamorous lifestyles sponsored by their sugar daddies.

They have all sorts of “ministers of something” who furnish them with the latest gadgets and ensure that their hair and nails are up-to-date.

Their ministers range from finance to transport and the latest addition to the “lingo” – minister of social development – depending on what they have to offer.

The minister of finance takes care of all your financial troubles, including tuition fees. No bill is too high for him as long as you promise to be a good girl and do as he says.

For transport it’s self-evident – his duty is to wheel you to school and on outings with your girls in his fancy German sedan.

He will keep you talking by loading your airtime every now and then. After dropping you off at your destination he is sure to insert a few notes in your bosom, but not as much as the minister of finance.

The minister of social development seems to be the favourite of the pack lately as he is an all-in-one package. He comes with the dual reward of money and the social scene.

He is the one “okufaka ezintweni” (meaning he gets you into right places with the right people). His wallet is as thick as the travel wallets often clutched by beleaguered ANC Youth League leaders.

He will see to all your material desires as long as you return the favour sexually with no limitations, not that you will be given a choice anyway.

His type is very jealous and likes to parade you in front of friends who think like him.

One mistake and he will leave you with a blue eye.

Despite the negative aspects, sugar daddies are the most sought after commodities for teenage girls. They are always at the centre of the catfights.

Everybody who cares to listen knows about his philandering ways, even his wife, who has on more than one occasion phoned her husband’s squeeze and told her how disgusting she was for sleeping with a man old enough to be her father.

This has become common practice in our communities. Society seems to have accepted that high-risk transactional sex between older men and young girls is part of our lives.

What we forget is that sugar daddies destroy lives.

Scientific evidence has shown that intergenerational sex is the main cause of high rates of teenage pregnancy and HIV among young girls in this country.

In 2010, more than 70 000 girls under the age of 18 gave birth in public healthcare facilities and of those, 24% were HIV-positive.

The antenatal survey for the same period revealed that only 282 of the 6 292 girls who participated in the yearly research had partners below the age of 19 – all the rest were older.

The evidence is there; it is up to us as a nation to put the brakes on this scary trend.

KwaZulu-Natal Health MEC Sibongiseni Dhlomo has initiated the war against sugar daddies by launching a campaign to highlight the dangers of intergenerational sex.

If we all fought this battle we could prevent young girls from falling into the honey trap.

So, are you going to let sleeping dogs lie and console yourself by saying these girls have no morals or will you take a stand against older men preying on young vulnerable girls?

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