What’s in the bag

2011-09-24 09:12

He gained notoriety for eating sushi off scantily-dressed women and then bathing them in expensive champagne.

Kenny Kunene is the top dog in the high-living, fast-moving flashy society circles of Joburg.

The man who wears two wrist watches describes himself as someone who’s conscious of appearance, style and fashion but not a metrosexual.

Last night his cheekily titled reality TV show So What? debuted on e.tv.

1. Cigar lighter – “I bought this at a Sandton shop and it’s always in the bag because I puff cigars.”

2. Cigar holder – “Although this one is the Romeo Y Julieta Churchill, my favourite Cuban cigar is Montecristo No.2. Cigars are about the look, status and swag – you don’t smoke them, you puff.”

3. Gold condoms – “This brand is strong and sustainable. I buy them at a pharmacy in Morningside, Sandton. They don’t break easily and are comfortable to use.

They are a little bit pricey but you get to enjoy yourself. The golden package says a lot about you; even if the lady is doubtful, when she sees the package she will see that she is being done in gold.”

4. The Galaxy Tab – “I use it to make calls, access the internet and download apps. It’s for business.”

5. BlackBerry Torch – “I also make calls from this number. It’s a private one, not more than 10 people have it.”

6. BlackBery Bold – “This is for business and personal usage. Every Tom, Dick and Jabulani has it.”

7. R100 notes, some US dollars and coins – “I am planning a trip to Zimbabwe so I need foreign currency. I don’t always carry lots of cash but I prefer to have some money on me so that when people ask me for help I can provide.
The coins come in handy for parking.”

8. Shoe horn – “It’s fashion etiquette that I don’t use my fingers to manoeuvre my foot into the shoe. I did that a lot when I was young, now I use my fingers to count money.”

9. TD Jakes Speaks to Men – “When I was in prison someone gave me Naked and Not Ashamed by Bishop TD Jakes and I finished reading it in three days. Then I got Can You Stand To Be Blessed? I’ve always read him.

TD Jakes Speaks to Men is a collection of quotes which I use every day.

I am a hardcore Christian – I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and saviour a long time ago.”

10. Montblanc pen – “It writes nicely and it’s one of the renowned brands.

My mind works better when I write on paper than typing out on a computer.”

11. Myprodol – “I always have a problem with headaches, but I haven’t been to the Headache Clinic because it comes and goes.”

12. Porsche card – “It comes in handy for when I experience a problem with my Porsches. I have found out that whenever I am in the SABC and University of Johannesburg vicinity I have an immobiliser problem; that’s because the Porsche’s central locking system is satellite-based so the satellites in Auckland Park interfere with it. So (with the card) I often have to call Porsche to tell me what to do.”

13. Wallet – “I bought this purple OHR ostrich leather wallet with a diamond for R30 000. It’s special to me.”
14. Business cards – “These are details of international and local business people.”

» So What? is on Saturdays at 7.30pm 

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