World Cup: the Final Whistle

2010-07-09 12:03

Most Dramatic:

Argentina’s coach, Diego Maradona, became the tournament’s biggest

­comic, thanks to his sideline antics. He gave kisses to his players, hugs to

his ­assistant coaches and ­delivered facial ­expressions that made everybody


He ­continued to test the patience of ­referees by standing on the

boundary line and patting the Jabulani ball ­every time it came his way.

Biggest Cry Baby:

The World Cup is filled with ­fabulous men, but many of them lack

­machismo. Players fell over their feet, dived for no reason and ­resorted to

self-­injury to gain free kicks.

Cry babies were in ­abundance, and Portugal’s

Cristiano Ronaldo almost topped our list in this category.

However, many will

agree that Uruguay’s Luiz “Hand of the Devil” Suárez definitely takes the lead.

Most Emotional Moment:

This is the moment that should have been accompanied by dramatic

background music for total effect. ­

Africans will never forget when ­Ghana’s

Asamoah ­Gyan missed the penalty against ­Uruguay in the final minutes of the


His inconsolable sobbing was matched only by that of Paraguay’s Óscar

Cardozo when they exited the tournament.

Most Overexposed Couple:

Sonia and Matthew Booth. Bless their fame-mongering hearts, but

this couple was everywhere: at Fashion Week, random parties, on TV, in magazines

(free and otherwise).

You could count on the Booths to make a cameo appearance

anywhere during the past four weeks.

The couple can now take a much-needed break

from the limelight because there is no longer a reason for hogging the


Biggest Drama Queens:

Les bleu, oui? They made everyone feel embarrassed for their

country, even though South Africans were ­secretly thrilled.

After their

disgraced star player Nicolas Anelka was sent home for calling the coach a “son

of a whore” (which probably sounded sexy in French), the team boycotted a

training session. Oh, the drama!

Weirdest Hairstyle:

The entire Algeria team. When did peroxided hair make a comeback?

Fashion-forward David Beckham must have been cringing on their behalf.

As for

the black men with blonde beards (Cameroon’s ­Rigobert Song and France’s

­Djibril Cissé), words fail us.

Best Fans:

It’s a tie between the ­Argentinians and Mexicans. These nations’

fans came prepared with costumes that helped make the ­tournament a truly

­colourful affair.

Plus, they were not threatened by the ­vuvuzelas as they had

their own noisy ­instruments.

Most Memorable Jersey Exchange:

This is the moment every perv waits for, when players exchange

their sweaty soccer jerseys.

It’s not very hygienic, if you really think about

it, but the award goes to the ­memorable exchange between the hunky US team and


On behalf of all at Perv ­Nation, we would like to say: Thank


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