#randomtweet: The terror of Trevor

2010-10-02 14:27

People have been falling in the street from exhaustion induced by trying to figure out why they are seeing so much of Trevor Noah lately.

I’m not one of those people.

It probably has something to do with my advanced knowledge of human behaviour.

You see, I have it all figured out (all of it).

One day, when Zuma does not have a wedding on his agenda and the cows have come home to roost, Trevor will jump out of a box and exclaim: “Bengidlala! (I was joking)”.

I eagerly await that day.


Because my TV has also been the victim of Trevor’s tirades about mazimba chips and sim cards. Or is that sim chips and mazimba cards?

I don’t know anymore (that’s probably like the one thing in this world I don’t know, but I digress).

I’ve come to believe that there is not a corner on this earth (an earth Chuck Norris permits to exist) that Trevor does not inhabit.

Now, I love Trevor. I do.

In fact, if me and him were part of a group of people left on a sinking boat in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, he’d probably be the second-last person I push off the boat.

So my affection for the brother is not in question here.

It’s just that I had sort of formed a hate-hate relationship with that Cell-C lady who’d tell me that the Cell-C subscriber I had dialled is not available.

I’d hate for Trevor to get between me and that lady.

Another thing: I’m sick and tired of those mazimba chips ads.

No seriously. I’m sick because I think I ate one of those cursed flavours; and tired because I’ve been trying to memorise their names.

Also, my idea of spending a weekday evening unwinding in front of the TV is not watching Trevor quiz an obviously hired impostor (read: actor) to represent some interior decorating fundi for a whole minute.

I like his show, though, because it’s on DStv and I am a struggling journalist who cannot afford pay-TV right now.

I like Trevor when he’s being funny. Not when he’s being clever.

There are people out there for whom thinking is a daily toil. For the sake of these damned souls, Trev, cut back. Cut back, please?

A lot of us plebians with under-developed front brain lobes were created to laugh now and get the joke later.

So when Trevor says stuff on TV, we inquire whether it’s real or we haven’t gotten the joke yet.

Good thing for me that I have cracked the code of his genius.

Yes, it’s true, Noah’s Ark is filled with television endorsement deals. Two of each kind probably.

But do we have to endure the flood?

For goodness’ sake, it’s been more than 40 days!

*anxiously awaiting the box*

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