Heath Ledger’s memorial service was held in Los Angeles on Sunday. For those mental midgets who would rather read a book than heat magazine, Ledger is the man who single-handedly brought peace to the Middle East and then discovered a cure for cancer while ending the civil war in Sudan. His memorial service was, by all accounts, not to be snorted at. Dozens of film stars turned up in the hope of meeting “Fernando”, Ledger’s closest and most trusted dealer. Ledger’s father, acting inexplicably out of character for an Australian, delivered a eulogy that was strangely lacking in the words: “That useless junkie bastard got what was coming to him.” Instead, he spoke of the terrible accident that befell his son. Yeah, I had a similar accident once and it got me six months suspended for three years.