A sheep over Eid at Checkers?

2011-12-24 00:00

Daniel Friedman: All I want for Xmas is a ho or three. Ho, ho, ho.

I just made that up now. Please don’t print it. I’m Jewish. We only have Hannukah witticisms. Also, I want a Pony. I will name it Sparkles.

Since I’m Jewish, our festivals are a lot longer and more tedious with less presents.

If all I had to do at a festival was get really drunk, overeat and exchange presents, I’d also be cheerful.

Simmi Areff: What? Does Pietermaritzburg even celebrate Christmas?

I love Christmas. It’s a very exciting time for me ’cause every year I run down the stairs... only to realise I’m Muslim.

Though, my family always celebrated Christmas because they wanted us to experience the Christmas cheer. My dad just lied to us and called it Christmas Eid.

However, when I go to mosque, I do think that every big-bearded man is Santa Claus. Pop! Pop!

Robby Collins: For Christmas I want a hyena... or a monkey... or both. Because a monkey can do things for you like when the remotes too far when you’re sitting and watching TV, then the monkey can get it. The hyena would be great to practice jokes on... if it laughs then the joke’s funny.

I also want more food. When you are small you want presents, but you get to an age when you don’t need presents, you need other things like money and food. So I’m spending my Christmas with my family, and enjoying my mother’s cooking. If there’s one thing that I really hate, it’s shops ... that don't understand Christmas. Before Christmas there’s a lot of other religious stuff ...you don’t see Checkers putting up sheep for Eid.

John Vlismas: My wishes for Christmas this year are: I wish that a terminal illness would attack all those celebrity singers starting with Micheal Bublé and moving to Steve Hofmeyer, only he gets something a lot worse.

I wish that there’s an end to all organised sport and religion and it happens in the same building.

And just a word of advice, if Santa is having trouble delivering presents this year, he should contact Sheryl Cwele — because she’s brilliant at delivering snow.

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