Chaps, these women are taking over

2011-01-26 00:00

SIAN Massey. Know the name? Probably not. Well, if you don’t, and you are male, you are dangerously close to being added to the list of those who have been labelled as backward, pre-historic and, well, sexist.

Sex, you say? In football? Yebo.

And I don’t mean the proverbial “sexy stuff” that is apparently played out by the likes of Arsenal, Barcelona and — when the mood takes them — Real Madrid.

Okay, maybe that last bit is a lie.

Even if Mourinho’s Madrid were dressed in suspenders, strawberries and cream, they would still not be titillating.

It is not Jose Mourinho’s thing, attractive football. If it was, he would have to rename himself the Sensual One, or the Naughty One, or perhaps even the Saucy One.

But I can’t see that happening.

So what’s all this talk about sex without the City? Well, two British commentators opened up a can of anacondas when — thinking they were off air — they started to humour themselves at the expense of Miss Massey.

Oh, and she happens to be a Premier League assistant referee.

And, as it turns out, she knows the off-side rule better than some of her ball-bearing counterparts!

Her decision to allow Liverpool’s goal to stand against Wolves was initially met with suspicion, but technology proved that she was, indeed, correct.

The two commentators found themselves chomping on significant slices of humble pie, and her intervention even helped Liverpool turn their latest corner — on their roundabout of a season!

But all the headlines belonged to Miss Massey.

In these days of equal opportunities, of Gucci-clutching CEOs and Merc-moving ministresses (is that a word?), is it any real surprise that we have women in sport?

Besides, the way most of the Premier League’s stars wail when they stub a toe or break a nail, some would argue that the feminine form has been in the game for a while already.

If anything, I would say the league should do it more often. If you watched the game, the players were slightly less inclined to march over and scream obscenities at Sian Massey than they usually do to any other Tom, Dick and Harry.

So in essence women may yet bring a sense of order and respect to the beautiful game. Imagine, just for a second, if Sophia Loren, Halle Berry and Lee-Anne Liebenberg were the officials for a game.

Heck, we would probably have the best behaviour in the history of the league. The players would be falling over themselves — not diving, for once — to not get on the wrong side of the officials.

And while we are at it, the women’s game could have our honourable president, George Clooney and Rafael Nadal manning their affairs. We have to keep things equal, after all.

Seriously, though, I don’t think it should matter one bit whether you are black, white, pink, male, female or any other peculiarity we have under the sun. If you know what you are doing, you should be able to strive to go as far as possible in your career.

Of course, with women now taking over our beloved sports, there is even less moral high ground for us to take!

And when they become better ”experts” than we are, what hope do we have?

I mean, explaining the intricacies of the off-side rule used to help bumbling idiots get a date back in the day.

It seems we shall have to resort to Messrs Duckworth and Lewis to have a chance now....

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