YOU walk out of the Broadway shopping centre in Durban North to see a car guard leaning on your nice clean car, chatting on her cellphone. What do you do? You glare at her and advance, ready for battle. Confessions of a Car Guard is a one-woman show, telling the life story of Delphine. “She's had such a raw deal,” says Bobbert, regaling me with the disasters that have befallen her character. The show is billed as a comedy, but, as Bobbert talks, often in character, it begins to sound more and more like a tragedy.