Goodness knows, nobody wants South Africa to become like Australia. This planet doesn’t need another culturally redundant, morally bankrupt, genetically impoverished cul-de-sac of a country. When they bat, they typically score at more than four runs an over. When they bowl, they hunt wickets and are very rarely content just to contain. When they indulge in their trademark “mental disintegration”, they stop at nothing to disturb, unsettle and clinically destroy anyone who poses a threat.