Rooney is crazier than I thought

2010-10-20 00:00

IT’S not often that a Merseyside derby gets pushed aside, but then again it is rather rare for a Manchester United star to go against the advice of Ol’ Red Nose.

Wayne Rooney’s public — and rather pathetic — stance on all things United in the last few days suggests a new level of aloofness.

Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Sir Alex Ferguson said yesterday that Rooney made it known to the club as long ago as August that he wasn’t going to sign a new contract.

Where would he go? Why would he go?

The recent revelations about his other kinds of “scoring” can’t have helped, but even then, United and Ferguson stood by him.

Heck, Fergie even protected him from the “nonsense” — to put it in mild Fergie terms — that he would have endured against his old club Everton when the scandal broke.

The Brits, away from their tea and scones, are a highly creative bunch, and the football fans are some of the wittiest — we are still being polite here — in the world.

The Everton ode to Rooney’s troubles was set to start with a gentle Bob Marley cover: “No Woman, No Kai” (Rooney’s son is curiously named Kai), to remind him of the possible consequences of his wicked ways.

There were, of course, more colourful classics to follow, but we will never know as Fergie felt inclined to protect his prize asset, saying he had an ankle problem.

Well, fat lot of good that did.

Rooney has only gone and done like a dog on a lamp-post on that explanation.

“I’m not injured, I don’t know where the boss got that,” he offered while on England duty, directly challenging Fergie’s authority.

There was only ever going to be one winner, and it was no surprise to see Wayne perched on the bench.

Fergie’s explanation of events yesterday was obviously in order to bring the fickle mob, who were screaming for their darling to be let loose during Saturday’s draw to West Brom, up to date with events that have occurred behind closed doors.

One wonders what they will think now, since their hero has been outed.

I just wonder where he will go.

His more than occasional crazy antics will not cut the mustard in cultured Barcelona, while José Mourinho simply has no time for any other ego besides his own.

Chelsea are on a significant diet of late, so it is unlikely that Rooney will add to England’s unloved internationals at the Bridge.

Which leaves Manchester City.

They would probably buy him just to see the look of horror on Fergie’s furious face.

Rooney could double, even treble, his wages if he moved to the blue half of Manchester.

And then what?

Even the most one-eyed City fan will tell you that theirs is a squad full of tension. They will soon be able to name a starting XI that could pass as the Spoilt Brat XI.

Carlos Tevez, Emmanuel Adebayor, Joleon Lescott, Gareth Barry. These, and plenty more, left their clubs in a huff to cash in at City and hope they pick up a medal at some point.

They are second on the table, but do you honestly think that they will last the pace without self-destructing?

I would bet that United, with their limited resources, will finish higher than City on the table. For all his critics, Ferguson has built a club that focuses on the group, and not one star.

Ronaldo, David Beckham and even Roy Keane all left Old Trafford. And United kept on winning without them. I think you will find they will do just fine once the raving Rooney leaves the building.

Enough on that, though, because there was more to the weekend than the antics of one snarling super-sub.

Everton welcomed the league’s latest batch of investors most unkindly, and one wonders if the Americans were looking for their 14-day money back guarantee.

That Liverpool are in trouble requires no level of education to figure out; in fact, I am pretty sure my not-yet-two laaitie pointed at Steven Gerrard the other day and just started giggling.

No prompting, no explanation, but just a general guffaw at the way Liverpool are bumbling their way through this campaign.

Word has it that the new owners, who obviously care about what is going on elsewhere in the world, have already tried to rope in the Chilean rescue team for inspiration at Anfield.

Sadly, it’s said that the Chileans responded by saying they can perform the odd miracle, but magicians they are not!

Lungani on Twitter.

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