The excuses that some people will come up with ...

2010-11-17 00:00

SO much for the form book, then.

It was like Christmas came early for every smallish club in English football at the weekend.

If yours was a club with money, then yours was a grim weekend.

Except, of course, if you support Arsenal. Then again, Arsene Wenger doesn’t spend more than a pound a player anyway, so you may as well say they don’t have any money, too.

From Manchester to London, the big boys made a monumental mess of their matches.

I can’t say I was too surprised at Liverpool’s stumble at Stoke.

Their fans kept telling me they had turned a corner after they beat Chelsea last week.

I guess the corner must have been at a traffic circle, because their problems won’t go away that quickly.

The biggest surprise was Sunderland’s thorough demolition of Chelsea — at Stamford Bridge.

Three-nil? At home?

I am still trying to work that one out.

Yes, the Blues were missing John Terry, Frank Lampard and Michael Essien, and they crumbled with all the backbone of a jelly-baby.

It was abysmal.

Clearly then, the title is no foregone conclusion.

Manchester United fans will tell you that they got a good point at Villa Park, but even they know that they were lucky to get anything out of that.

Poor City. For all their money and mania, they can’t seem to buy a win at the moment.

What made Saturday’s stalemate with Birmingham even more worrying for Signor Roberto Mancini was that City couldn’t even create a clear opportunity against a team wallowing in the relegation zone.

When Mancini pulled off Carlos Tevez and replaced him with Gareth Barry, one could understand the fans booing and chanting “You don’t know what you’re doing!”

I have said it before, and I will say it again:

City will not win a thing anytime soon.

They need a special kind of manager to control all the over-sized egos of underperforming divas.

Someone like — well, we did say special — José Mourinho, perhaps.

Just look at the stuff he is doing at Real Madrid.

Of course he has ruffled feathers, but he has also got Madrid winning with a fair bit of flair while reducing the leaks at the back.

He has even got the best out of Portugal’s second biggest ego — Cristiano Ronaldo.

The former United dazzler is scoring as regularly as a married England star in a hotel these days, and Real are sitting pretty in La Liga and in Europe.

Of course, Saturday also saw the Soweto Derby come back to life.

I have already heard some incredible excuses from several highly-educated Pirates followers.

Apparently, the heavy defeat came at just the right time because the team can now see its weaknesses.

Crikey, so there is actually a good time to get thumped by your biggest rivals?

Who knew?

Some even had the cheek to say that Chiefs should consider it an ultra-early Christmas gift, what with Daine Klate putting one in the wrong net, and the Pirates defence gift-wrapping the other two goals.

You would swear Chiefs weren’t even on the park.

My father, a Pirates fan to the bone, conveniently got busy as soon as the second Chiefs goal was scored.

The old man even had the good grace to ask if anyone knew what the final score was in the Bok game, because he had been too busy to watch anything all day!

I tell you, these Pirates fans should consider writing some scripts for a few Generations episodes.

You can’t even make this stuff up.

But I won’t gloat. There really is no need.

After all, my beloved Amakhosi should have racked up a cricket score.

I will content myself with the knowledge that Musona still owes Pirates a few more goals the next time we meet.

That’s good enough for me.

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