The rain in Spain is dry man!

2011-09-29 00:00

OUR language is constantly evolving. New words are constructed and old words are revived from the past and given new life.

The language used by youngsters today is greatly influenced by television scripts and Hollywood slang. Obscenity and crudeness is a new “cool”. Things that are good or bad are related to their sexual attractiveness.

United States “gangsta kulcha” encourages a corruption of the language, as proper English is seen as a weakness or a betrayal of “hood” culture. Technology has also had a great influence on how we speak and many words have become imbued with techno-speak.

Language researchers Bethany Dumas and Jonathon Lighter, who have a website called Urban Dictionary, argue that what’s slang changes over time and may fall away or become mainstream. Other types of slang include the SMS language used on cellphones, and “chatspeak”, (e.g. “LOL”, meaning laughing out loud). Urban Dictionary attempts to record the definitions of these words as they pop up in contemporary culture. If you feel confused by your teenager’s lingo check out this website, but be warned you probably won’t want to know what UDI stands for. Here are some of the more witty and interesting definitions.

• Whale tail: the whale tail is the shape formed when a G-string rides up over a woman’s trousers

• Vacation amnesia: when you come back to school or work from your vacation and you can’t remember what you did before your vacation.

• Upper-case voice: to raise your voice or accentuate part of a sentence to stress significance as you would while typing in the digital world.

• Urban amish: someone who has none of the technological devices that have become a part of our daily lives, such as television, microwave, gaming platform or home computer.

• Traffic tourettes: the uncontrollable urge to scream obscenities at other drivers who infringe on your space.

• Tolerance juice: any concoction of alcohol used to help tolerate a person, a place, or a situation. In theory, the more tolerance juice you consume, the less annoyed you will be.

• Shelf-esteem: when someone builds their self-esteem from self-help books like those written by Dr Phil McGraw.

• Sloth cloth: an old T-shir­t you wear while hanging around the house.

• Reality challenged: being in a state in which one is utterly and completely unable to distinguish fact from fiction, and is thus obviously and undeniably full of crap.

• Powerpuff presentation: a PowerPoint presentation containing lots of flashy animations, cool pictures, and snazzy gimmics, but almost entirely lacking in any real substance.

• Parking karma: the uncanny ability to find an open parking space in a desirable location of a busy parking lot.

• Pornocchio: a person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler.

• Nonversation: a completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is revealed. Usually shared in bars among strangers.

• Mattress worship: the decision to stay in bed when you are too tired to get up and go to church.

• Liptease: the act of putting on lipstick suggestively.

• Jackass of all trades: a person who is bad at everything.

• Immaculate congestion: when traffic is backed up for miles on a highway, suddenly the flow returns to normal and there is no sign of an accident.

• Hobosexual: the opposite of metrosexual. One who cares little for one’s own appearance.

• Head splinter: when a song gets lodged inside your head and you can’t stop singing it.

• Heteroflexible: excuse for when a normally straight person has a fling with person of the same sex, usually after lots of alcohol.

• Hiberdating: someone who ignores all their other friends when they are dating a boyfriend or girlfriend

• Gift parasite: a person who adds his or her name to a gift tag in order to claim partial credit for giving the gift.

• Guysmaids: the modern trend of brides choosing men as attendants at a wedding.

• Coming out the cupboard: confessing to others that you are a secret Harry Potter fan, because everyone knows Harry lives in a closet under the stairs.

• Child supervision: when an older person needs a tech-savvy child to help him or her with computers or electronic devices.

• Brain bleach: what one might use to erase a particularly nasty image or memory.

• Brickberry: a term for the old phone you have to use when your current phone breaks.

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