To Wazza, Lamps and Stevie G; welcome back lads

2010-08-17 00:00

EXCUSE the extended absence, but even armchairs get a bit uncomfortable after that much football.

Happily, a few weeks of trying — with some difficulty — to locate holes with a little white ball persuaded this scribe to venture back indoors to see what the boys in Blighty were up to.

What can one say?

It’s great to have Wazza, Stevie G and Lamps running around the lounge again.

Heck, we sometimes see more of these stars than we do of our friends.

Not that I am complaining.

And let’s just make early mention of little Blackpool, shall we? During my short-lived sojourn abroad, I visited the coastal town just outside Manchester.

And to be honest, I didn’t even know they had a serious football team.

Well, you know what I mean. It’s like the look on your face when someone told you that a Zimbabwean was at the rugby World Cup.

It was all mocks and murmurs until that Ngwenya chap ghosted past Bryan Habana much faster than an extra on those Outsurance ads.

Well, little Blackpool didn’t wait too long to announce their return to the most decorated table in the land.

Four-nil? Away? As they say in those parts, “You must be avin’ a larf!”

Heck, the citrus-flavoured warriors even went top of the table — for about an hour. Trust Chelsea to provide the dose of reality to that fairytale.

But to be fair, the Blues were pretty efficient themselves, trampling over West Brom with the sensititvity of a lopsided BEE mining deal.

Before the league kicked off, Blackpool were favourites for the drop. Now they will probably be second favourites. It’s Arsenal away for them next, so that should send them back down to earth.

Not that the Gunners were firing on all cylinders at Anfield. Indeed, it required Pepe Reina to go all Robert Green on us for Arsene Wenger’s side to steal a point.

Perhaps if Señor Reina had spent a bit more time practising instead of trying to plant a Barcelona shirt on Cesc Fabregas, we would be talking about Liverpool’s encouraging new start to the season.

But he didn’t. And we are not. So there.

Roy Hodgson has done his best to talk down Liverpool’s chances since taking over. He shouldn’t have bothered.

If Liverpool actually sneak into the top four this season, then it will be a heck of an achievement.

The competition is tighter than Liverpool’s bank balance this season.

Everyone is talking about City, but for them to win the league would take a mighty plummet from Chelsea and United.

City have spent mad money, yes, but a closer look says they have brought name brands and not necessarily the ingredients for a good team.

There is hardly any cover at centre back, and there are far too many strikers.

It surprised me that Roberto Mancini was so eager to get rid of Craig Bellamy. Yes, the Welshman has a temper to rival Bakkies Botha, but he was definitely City’s most consistent front man last season.

He seems set to go, and bigger names have come in.

With that many egos, City will certainly be entertaining. I mean, you try and contain a change-room that houses Adebayor, Tevez and the slightly outspoken Balotelli.

Slightly outspoken? I must apologise, because I think I am doing young Mario an injustice. Any man who takes on Jose Mourinho must be described as nothing less than volcanic!

City have bought big, but that doesn’t mean the title will suddenly fall on their lap.

Speaking of buying, it has been slightly worrying to see the lack of progress in the market for our Bafana stars.

Katlego Mphela, Siphiwe Tshabalala and the like were said to be wanted all across Europe, yet they are still here getting ready for the MTN8.

I had a riveting debate on this matter with my dad while washing the cars on Sunday night.

Perhaps they were over-priced? Or maybe the overseas clubs were trying to bully “little Sundowns” into selling their star on the cheap.

The chat was going swimmingly, until we ventured into waters that met with Teko Modise island.

I am not quite sure what I uttered, but it may have been along the lines of “overrated, slack and just plain useless”.

Before I could even explain myself, the Pirates fanatic had dropped his cloth and left me to rinse and dry my car and his on my own!

Clearly, some people still can’t handle the deadly mix that is washing liquid added to the soap opera that is Orlando Pirates.


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