A bonzer idea from Oz

2013-01-07 12:14

Chris Moerdyk 

I would, for a brief moment, like to break from the time-honoured South African tradition of bashing Australians to give them a resounding round of applause for a damn clever idea.

Very simply, what they have started doing is instead of taking up an entire page of your passport with a visa they simply register the fact that you have a valid visa online and give you a separate letter to carry as backup.

How indescribably simple.

There is nothing that irritates me more than when those stupid Poms and arrogant Europeans not only make you have a visa for every separate trip but insist on taking up a whole page in your passport. Which means that even if you travel only modestly your passport will be full before it has even vaguely reached 10 years old.

I am not going to get into the need for visas right now because that discussion just spoils my year, but suffice it to say that if countries like the UK insist not only on visitor's visas but those iniquitous transit visas as well, then at least they could use what little intelligence they have to do everything online.

Actually they have it all online anyway and I have to say that the number of times I have gone into countries where they don't even look at the visa but rather just swipe the barcode of my passport and hey presto, all the visa details come up on their computers anyway.

So come on you dumb Poms and incredibly arrogant Europeans who insist of those foul Schengen visas, you can at least stop cluttering up our passports with your fancy stamped visas that you never look at anyway?

And as a result you can drop that even more arrogant insistence that you won't give us a visa unless our passport has six empty pages. Why six empty pages for crying out loud?  You only need one for your silly little visa.

And while I am at it stupid Poms and silly Schengen people, why don't you do like the Americans and give us a 10 year visa?

Why do you have to keep reinventing the damn wheel? What's worse is that if I go to say Germany for three weeks they will give me a three week Schengen visa and then if a month later I go to France, they repeat the whole time-consuming and iniquitously expensive exercise all over again.

Can't they talk to each other for crying out loud?

So, bloody well done Australia for a bonzer idea. I now like you more than the Poms and Europeans and almost as much as the New Zealanders who of course, don’t require us to have a visa at all.

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  • slp.mulligan - 2013-01-07 13:08

    How about a better idea; if they don't need a visa to come here, we don't need a visa to go there. That's a South African idea for all those South African bashers out there. No pages needed and no computer memory used.

  • slp.mulligan - 2013-01-07 13:24

    Here's an even better idea from good old SA; if you don't need a visa to come here, we don't need one to go there. Saves time, money, passport pages, computer space. And maybe I'd be interested in visiting. Till then, keep bashing away.

  • frank.collier.14 - 2013-01-07 13:53

    Let's not forget why we need visas to visit the Poms; if our famous Home Affairs department hadn't sold thousands of SA passports to Pakistanis wanting to get to the UK they would not have insisted in visas.

      slp.mulligan - 2013-01-07 15:11

      As I recall the passports used in the 911 bombings were German. The false passports used in the 'Mossad' assassinations in Dubai(?) recently were Australian and British. I suppose it must be the fault of our Home Affairs. Perhaps the real issue is that they're welcome here. The more hassle it is to travel to a place the less I want to spend my money there. And I travel plenty. Anyway, lets all beat ourselves up about being South African; it's all so easy.

      gordon.turner.37 - 2013-01-08 20:20

      They also pulled SA passports off Al Qaeda in Iraq, Afghanistan, Yemen and Somalia. Our system was / is very untrustworthy and all the visa system does is make sure that you are who you say you are.

  • Zohan.Steppingstone - 2013-01-07 13:56

    It's actually 2 blank pages, not six. While I share in most of the sentiments expressed in your article, the fact remains that the Schengen countries are fairly successful in keeping most of the flotsam out of their countries. If SA had any border control half as good as the Europeans do, we would be far better off than we are now. Fact also remains that a large percentage of RSA passports are falsified; the world know this off course and that is why we are put under a magnifying glass when we want to travel. I agree 100% with you that an electronic Visa is an excellent idea, well done to the Aussies.

      russell.paschke - 2013-01-07 17:57

      I've just spent 2 weeks in London - there seem to be more immigrants here than traditional English - some can hardly even speak English properly. So much for keeping the "flotsam" out.

  • mike.bundy.73 - 2013-01-07 14:17

    Wow you really are a hateful little man

      stuart.rawlins - 2013-01-07 14:44

      You obviously don't travel much then Mike?

      mike.bundy.73 - 2013-01-09 07:05

      On the contrary I have travelled often and to many countries. I don't see how that is relevant to anything stated in this article or my observation of the author. Why the need to make insulting and racist comments about entire countries because of a few sensible beaurocratic requiremnts?

  • rooinekk.smit - 2013-01-07 18:51

    Wow! What an offensive article, Chris! Calling the Poms stupid and dumb and the Schengen countries arrogant and silly! My oh my. Your superiority complex is showing. Maybe a little still left from the 'old days'? Here's an idea - don't go there. They really don't need you. You won't be missed, I promise.

  • tsepo.mdlalose - 2013-01-09 11:22

    Well done Oz!

      gerry.klos - 2013-01-14 22:24

      Go to Oz and you'll find out they are totally ANAL

  • tsepo.mdlalose - 2013-01-09 11:31

    Whaaaaat no need for a zealand visa! Awesome didn't know that..

      mike.bundy.73 - 2013-01-09 18:50

      If you plan to visit as a tourist for three months or less then no visa is required.

  • tc.convulvulous - 2013-01-09 16:23

    Chris Moerdyk, Why moer only the Poms and Europeans? Do you have a bias against them? Have you travelled into Africa? Or to China? No different, possibly worse.

      vincent.surics - 2013-01-10 06:57

      I've just returned from Hong Kong and Macau. All that is required is completing a small form on arrival. There's no onerous bureaucratic requirements. I tend to avoid travelling to Europe because of this red tape. In the current economic crisis the European Union may want to rethink their strategy re this bureaucracy.

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