Getting old is weird

2012-09-04 07:58

David Moseley

I remember buying my first couch, a sprawling brown dust collector that was home to numerous bottoms over the years, and thinking how truly mature and grown up I was for performing this rite of adulthood. Instead of splashing my 13th cheque that year on another pair of garish boardhsorts and a bakkie-load of spirits I bought a couch. “This is it,” I thought at the time, “in lieu of any mountains to conquer, bears to skin or branches to whittle into chess pieces, I am now a grown man.”

How wrong I was. And how depressed I now find myself after this weekend’s events, because getting old and truly becoming an adult is a weird and shocking experience.

We recently installed new windows into our home. Out with the old, rotten wooden panes and in with the new, glistening aluminium models. My new windows are double-glazed. They’re smooth and snug when closed now. They even open when I want them to open and not when they feel like it because they’ve swollen in the rain. What’s more, all this excited me.

When the builders left I marched proudly around my house, beaming with the confused satisfaction of someone who’s just spent all his (fiancée's) money on making a hole in the wall. “Look at these wonderful windows,” I said to Bovril the cat. “Just look at them. Aren’t they smashing?” Meow, he said in return.

His owners were more impressed. As was the rest of our small housing complex. “Ooh, I love your windows,” neighbours cooed as they drove past. Yes, yes. Aren’t they marvellous? Do come in and I’ll take your photo next to them. You can send it to your friends and family.

How? How did this happen, how can I be so ecstatic about six new windows? What’s more, I keep popping round to my most direct neighbour, in the guise of borrowing stuff or asking stupid questions about DStv, just to keep an eye on their renovations. Sure, they might have better kitchen cupboards right now, but my windows are the best. The BEST!

But I don’t want to love my windows. I don’t want to get old and suburban. What’s left after windows anyway? Will I start longing for tiles of Italian descent, like that clown in the CTM ads of years gone past? Will I sit down at dinner parties in months to come and purr about faucets and excellent new plumping systems, or shower doors and carpeting?

It’s all so incredibly confusing, this love for my windows. I want to long for Xboxes and fancy sneakers. But I don’t. I don’t even care about going to the larny shops in my tracksuit pants anymore. All I care about are my windows. It’s so weird, man.

What the hell happened?

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  • jackie.vanpletzen - 2012-09-04 09:08

    I really laughed at this article. I have the same problem-but with my new couches. The old couches, you had to sit right or roll off of them. Now my new recliners, i just want to look at them all the time. Enjoy your windows! My recliners and I salute you.

      mlucejko - 2012-09-04 13:18

      Yes, I had to laugh at this article !! I'm getting old and in a similar way I get excited about the weirdest things.. We all know that here in Cape Town we've had loads of rain.. Well for ages I sat in my kitchen watching my grass grow longer and longer and longer.. Then the sun came out!! At last I could cut my grass.. Now every time someone comes to the house I can't wait to show them my grass.. "Hey, come see my grass" !! "Look at my grass" !! "Isn't it lovely" !! Getting old, I do the weirdest things !!

  • chris.gill.9849 - 2012-09-04 09:31

    You're not getting old, you're getting married. Bachelors will never grow up, I have a single friend in his 40's that still loves his PS3.

      harley.quin.334 - 2012-09-04 09:54

      i'm in my 50's, married and still love my PS3, so whats your point

      Duits - 2012-09-05 10:51

      I'm also in my 50's, female, married and I love my Wii, yes I also play with it especially Guitar Hero when I get the chance!

      allcoveredinNinjas - 2012-09-05 11:15

      OMG , ditching your PS3 is not a sign of growing up but a sign of giving up.

  • maryjean.hennis - 2012-09-04 09:49

    Wait until your new toaster arrives!!!!your happiness and pride will have no bounds :) xxx

  • david.a.meyer.925 - 2012-09-04 09:51

    I have experienced the same sensation since installing double glazed windows. Cost an arm and a leg but the best money I have ever spent. Can we form a club/society... The Windows Appreciation Society... or maybe something else. Don't want to be sued by Microsoft.

      arthur.hugh - 2012-09-05 11:14

      Hahaha good one David!

  • flysouth - 2012-09-04 10:11

    So sad. But I know the feeling!

  • francoisengelbrecht1 - 2012-09-04 10:47

    This sounds so familiar. Happens when you get married/older. Priorities change. All of a sudden you find yourself talking about pool and lawn maintenance with your mates...

  • DayanGovender - 2012-09-04 12:34

    I feel that way about my kettle :)

  • pam.stelli - 2012-09-04 13:28

    I know the feeling. I bought a Morphy Richard iron 4 years ago! Everytime I (no one else) only me, use it, I know its the best iron ever!!

  • juannepierre - 2012-09-04 14:15

    I disagree, the only difference is now I can afford to change my windows. In younger days changing windows was a dream... Although, I am a bachelor and I have only seemed to move from a pad on the first floor to the top floor. So maybe I haven't grown up, I've just gotten better at being 25? But who said to be a bachelor is a choice? Awesome read as always! Two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

  • raven.sqarr - 2012-09-04 14:27

    At one stage i was rather proud of my herb and spice garden and showed it off all the time. But that was because it was the first plants i have managed not to kill. Since then i realised they will probably grow despite of me. Ten years on, last weekend i played starcraft for 70hrs flat, bought a boot-load of beer from the brewery down the road and blasted the new Soulfly album at top volume, at 3am... am i getting younger again??

  • ingrid.inglis.3 - 2012-09-04 15:07

    Plse advise the company who replaced your windows. Desperately want to replace mine.

  • mack.myburgh - 2012-09-04 16:05

    you grew up !

  • louis.hager.12 - 2012-09-04 17:07

    Now spoil yourself with a new applience that will never be used...

  • wendy.schneider3 - 2012-09-04 19:20

    your not old yet, it is still coming,hope you still got family left!

  • jeremy.forbes.1293 - 2012-09-04 20:37

    When you are truly old, you won't be able to see the new windows and be unable to get off the couch!

  • marion.woldendorp - 2012-09-05 06:19

    oh next will be the baby talk around the dinner parties.

  • brandon.faber.908 - 2012-09-05 06:53

    Rage! Rage against the dying of the light!

  • binarycape - 2012-09-05 09:23

    Hahah, I really chuckled at this piece, David. I really understand where you are coming from. And just wait until you are older still - like me!

  • arthur.hugh - 2012-09-05 11:15

    David - easy solution - put your Playstation next to your new windows, that way you can enjoy both ;-) Great article, thanks for the laughs!

  • johan.jacobs.5680 - 2012-09-05 14:51

    The other option of, not getting old,is more unacceptable.

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