Khaya Dlanga

Dear ANC

2012-03-02 07:37

Khaya Dlanga

Dear African National Congress,

I feel like you unfriended me on Facebook and then put it up on your status update so that everyone knows the cruel thing you have you done. You have no shame! Actually, I can even think of a worse example. It’s like we were very much in love. So in love in fact that our relationship status updates said, “The African National Congress is in a relationship with Julius Malema.”

Now your relationship status update says, “The African National Congress is no longer in a relationship with Julius Malema.” Do you know how embarrassing this is? Everyone can see it! Plus there is that dreaded broken red heart thing there. And I simply cannot believe that there are 23 034 people who have clicked “like” under my broken heart! Like! They clicked the like button! They are all bloody agents! The lot of them!

You bloody agents have kicked me out of your revolutionary house! Like a thing! As if I have rubbish in my trouser! Comrade Thabo Mbeki would never have done this to me! Viva Thabo Mbeki viva!

I called him worse names than the Shower man while he was president, yet he did not see it fit for me to face a disciplinary hearing because he realised that we are still children who are in need of learning and schooling. Although truth be told, we actually schooled him by kicking him out of the presidency – and look at the price I am paying now. He is still one of the best ANC presidents we have ever had. Viva president Thabo Mbeki viva!

The Shower man is trying very hard to extinguish the fire in the belly of the youth. In fact, the shower is un-African because there is no word for it in Pedi

It has to be said that it is rather weird that I used to say that there are no guaranteed or permanent positions in the ANC – I used to say that as a threat to the president of the ANC. Ironically, I lost my position first! What kind of muti is that man using? Much force this one’s muthi has. Learn from him, I must. My own personal Yoda of muthi I need.

I’m so bitter right now that I have a good mind to beat up those tjatjarag National Disciplinary Committee members with a plank from one of my woodwork pieces, which were somehow never appreciated. In all fairness, my woodwork results and my other marks should never have been released. However, I suspect that some agents from the West were responsible.

Yes, I do have some moments of self-doubt now. Did I do the right thing? Should I have stuck to my guns? It made a lot of sense to me to be defiant because the president of this organisation once compared me to another great revolutionary, Nelson Mandela. He said that Mandela was also rebellious when he was defending me. I should have known that was a launch.

But in all honesty, I am sorry, but I will never repeat this on a public platform. My life won’t be the same. You may have rejected me but I am still in love with the ANC. I know that I may seem desperate but the only thing I am desperate for is your love.

Maybe I should stop blaming others for my actions.
Maybe I should take responsibility.
Maybe I should think back and re-evaluate my life.
Maybe I should apologise to those who saw potential in me, I didn’t mean to disappoint you. 
Maybe I should say sorry. Maybe I will.
Even though you have rejected me ANC, I am still in love with you.

In the words of Adele:
"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead'"

I know I sound stalkerish and unstable but you’ve got to understand that I’m hurt right now. You’re bloody agents but I still love you ANC. Love live the spirit of the ANC even though you have rejected one of your own.

From Malema

- Follow Khaya on Twitter.

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