Koos Kombuis

This Man is Destroying my Peace of Mind!

2016-10-25 12:47

Koos Kombuis

There are many reasons why Zuma should disappear from the South African landscape.

The political and economic reasons have been well documented. There is nothing I can add to those without running the risk of repeating what other columnists and observers have said about this.

I also have personal reasons why I don’t want president Zuma to be the leader of this country.

These reasons are intimate, and somewhat irrational, if not obsessive. But I want to share them with you because deep down, I suspect, they might hit a chord, awaken a feeling, help us understand the depths of hopelessness we, as a country, as a nation, as a collective, have sunk under the leadership of this single man.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of thinking of Zuma when I tuck my children into bed at night. I’m so tired of thinking, “If only it were not for Zuma, these children might have a safe future in South Africa.”

I’m tired of thinking of Zuma first thing in the morning, when I lie in bed, drinking my first cup of coffee and planning my routine. I’m tired of thinking, “I can expand my career in this way or that, if only I could be sure that the money I earn would not be depreciated by Zuma’s antics.”

I’m tired of thinking of Zuma when I stand on my porch at sunset, listening to the guinea-fowls noisily making their way to the treetops where they nest every night. I‘m tired of thinking, “now, if only if it weren’t for Zuma, this would have been a perfect evening, and I would have perfect peace of mind.”

I’m tired of thinking of Zuma every afternoon when I take my dog for a walk. “I’m tired of reminding myself that Zuma, for some reason or other, doesn’t like dogs.

It mystifies me, the fact that Zuma doesn’t like dogs.

It mystifies me, above all, that I should spend so much time thinking about somebody I don’t even know, someone I probably wouldn’t like even if I knew him, someone who is no relation of mine, not a friend or a colleague and certainly not a role-model.

Why do I allow this person to control my thoughts, to dominate my waking hours, to cast his shadow over my entire life?

When I write in my diary, thinking of the road I had travelled to be where I am today, when I think of the early years my friends and I spent protesting against apartheid, I cannot help thinking “this would have been such a great place if Zuma would only disappear. Everything we had done would have been so much more worthwhile, had it not been for Zuma.”

Even if I manage not to think of Zuma for an entire day – and such days are rare indeed – I am, time and time again, reminded of his presence every time I open a newspaper, switch on the TV, or catch sight of the news headlines as I drive through town.

Zuma is omnipresent. He is like a scar you cannot ignore, and abdominal pain that won’t go away, a chronic toothache, an ill-fitting pair of shoes.

Jacob Zuma dominates my thought processes. He has taken up permanent residence in my brain. He has done this against my wishes. I did not invite him to be part of my life. I do not want to share my most intimate moments with this person. He is not even vaguely interesting. He should be of no consequence.

The fact that this person is present with me, all the time, even during my most secret moments, is a gross violation of my rights of my privacy and my dignity. He should be ashamed of himself for doing that to me.

He should be ashamed of himself for doing that to all my fellow South Africans.

Because I am not alone in this predicament. I am sure many other people feel the way I do. Many other South Africans find themselves thinking about Zuma, wishing Zuma would go away, at times when they would rather think of absolutely anything else.

Zuma is not only stealing our money. He is also stealing our time, our freedom of thought, and our peace of mind.

He is turning us into a nation of obsessives.

Whenever I want to think a beautiful thought, whenever I feel the need to be truly alone, whenever I want to do something truly worthwhile, the thoughts of Zuma intrude, and I find myself asking myself: “Is this thing I am thinking about, is this thing I want to do, really worth the effort? What if this endeavour is destroyed by Zuma in the end, the way he is destroying everything else that is good, everything that is proper, everything that is worth doing, or thinking about, every action with imbued with the potential for dignity?”

These are some of the personal reasons why I want Zuma to disappear from my consciousness. And from our collective consciousness.

He must disappear, so that we can forget about him.

He must disappear, so that when we DO think of him, it would be in the past tense.

I deserve nothing less. We deserve nothing less. South Africa deserves nothing less.

Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, in God’s name, get the fuck out of our lives, in the name of everything that is good and nice and human and gentle and right…

Just GO.

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