Max du Preez

Land of the Absurd

2011-02-09 12:15

In Buffalo in the United States a Muslim man who started a television station to promote cultural understanding and to counter negative perceptions of Islam was found guilty of beheading his wife.

In South Africa the president had his widely respected Cabinet spokesperson, Themba Maseko, removed and replaced him with one of the most controversial public figures in the country, a man who was fired from his job as director-general of Labour, accused of serious misconduct and perceived as someone who deeply dislikes South Africans with a lighter skin tone than his own, Jimmy Manyi.

The tests given to tens of thousands of pupils this week to assess their literacy and numeracy skills are riddled with very basic mistakes.

South Africa’s top businessmen and industrial leaders tell everyone who would listen that an unfettered free market system equals healthy competition, prosperity and freedom for all and then one after the other they are found guilty of colluding with each other to screw the consumer.

The ANC has proved that it can’t even manage Robben Island or the SABC but it wants to nationalise and run the country’s mines.

The president of the ANC, a man who only escaped being tried for corruption and fraud through political manipulation of the prosecuting process and who has several children out of wedlock, tells the nation he is one of those going to heaven because he has an ANC membership card.

The selectors of the national rugby team, the Springboks, are adamant that John Smit is still the best hooker in South Africa.

The two foremost self-styled champions of the poor, the leader of the Communist Party and the president of the ANC Youth League, are better known for their extremely expensive taste in transport, accommodation, alcoholic beverages and personal adornment.

The government wants to impose an extremely expensive national health system, but most state hospitals have become places of abuse and neglect instead of places of healing.

The most powerful argument why the British man who allegedly had his wife murdered in a staged hijacking should not be sent to South Africa to face justice is a public statement by the Commissioner of the South African Police Service.

The national cricket team, the Proteas, declare that they are not chokers and predict that they could be in the final of the upcoming Cricket World Cup.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu maintains that South Africans are the Rainbow Nation of God.

The ANC says their proposed statutory media tribunal will guarantee proper press freedom.

The quickest way to get rich in South Africa is to be appointed the head of one of the parastatals like Denel, Eskom or the SABC and then immediately screw up so badly that you get fired and go home with a golden handshake of a few million.

The University of Johannesburg severs all ties with Ben Gurion University in Israel because of its relationship with the government of Israel and then starts a political school for the ANC at its Soweto campus.

I love South Africa, the Land of the Absurd.

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