Ask Sis Dolly: Abusive same-sex partner

By Drum Digital
09 December 2016

I don’t know what to do, I always cry and I’m not happy at all, sometimes he beats me

I’m in a same-sex relationship and HIV-positive. I found a boyfriend last year but didn’t tell him about my status and we didn’t agree to sex without a condom.

However, he later discovered that I’m HIV-positive. I told him I had kept quiet as I wasn’t ready to tell him, and I’d bought condoms to protect him.

At first, he didn’t have a problem with this, but now he’s busy with another guy.

I told him to stop but he just tells me how dirty I am and he’s told everyone about my status.

I don’t know what to do. I always cry and I’m not happy at all. Sometimes he beats me.

Please help.

Sis Dolly answers 

It hurts when someone you love abuses and rejects you. Your boyfriend deserted you when you needed him most and has no right to physically abuse you; you should apply for a protection order against him.

But you also need to look out for your own emotional wellbeing.

I suggest you contact OUT on 012-430-3272 or visit for counselling and assistance.

It would also be beneficial for you to contact the National Aids Helpline on 0800-012-322 for help with how to disclose your status to others.

Find Love!