Ask Sis Dolly: I'm not ready for sex

By Drum Digital
23 May 2016

I am an 18-year-old virgin. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years.

I am an 18-year-old virgin. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years.

But we’ve hardly spent any quality time together because he never made an effort. Instead, he’s cheated on me with other girls and disrespected me. He says he’s sorry and admits his mistakes.

Now he’s putting pressure on me to have sex. When I tell him I’m not ready, he says we’ve been dating for a long time and I’m no longer a child. He even claims not to have slept with those girls, but they’ve told me other stories.

I don’t know what to do

Sis Dolly Answers

I don’t understand why you’re still dating him.

He has clearly shown you disrespect. And you are full of complaints about him but why are you still with him? What is it you think will change?

Do not for one second compromise on your readiness to have sex with him, and don’t for a minute believe him if he says he will stay with you if you do.

Just leave him and carry on building your confidence. You’ll find someone who values and respects you, and does not blame you for his behaviour.

Remember, we teach people how to treat us, so if you allow this treatment now, it’ll repeat itself.

Find Love!